Saturday, January 4, 2014

these days are long.

So this has been like the coldest, longest, darkest week of my life!!

And you would think that with all this cold-and lack of getting into my car to drive to a beautiful coffee drivethru-that i would be more productive since i am in the house 578 hours a day, right?

Ummm, wrong. Very wrong. Now i find that i just wander from room to room--like a princess locked in her castle--waiting for someone to come and save me.

But they don't.

So i continue to step over clothes that are on my floor, while moaning to myself, "Theres just nothing to doooooo..." Like a teeny tiny baby who has no discipline.  I swear, maybe i was meant to be born into Paris Hilton's family? Then i could be all "That's hot...." As i walk around the house in my heels and gown, waiting from someone to put on my makeup and feed me. Who knows....i could dig that.

Yes. I have a problem.

 I'm not saying i don't. OKAY!?

Nothing seems to thrill me and i've been pretty much venomous to all that I have come into contact with this past week.

Even my parents. I was all, "Dad, you just don't even GET it!"  "Mom, stop telling me to do my laundry!!

They just looked at me--confused--and likely a bit annoyed.

"But i didn't care!! "(picture me throwing myself onto a faint couch with my hand to my forehead while i say this)

"I DON'T CARE!!!!" (I also like to picture my robe a light satin pink and my hair abnormally bouncy, as i just took out my rollers)

wait, where was I?

Oh yes--I was even kinda annoying myself--and that only made me madder.

(Insert faint couch and full on dramatics)

(and a robe--my new attire)

I've officially gone over to the dark side. The dark, cold, crabby, annoying side.

And i guess its Minnesota's fault.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not a complainer about things like weather. I mean, hello, we're not in California here--its gonna be cold. Its what we signed up for when we moved (or were born here--without a choice) here.

In fact--wouldntcha know--it annoys me when people complain. Cause i'm all, move to another state then!!  (snap, snap, snap)

Cause this is Minnesota and its cold.

But alas, i am starting to feel the squeeze--or maybe its the lack of sunlight?

I don't know. But these days are looooooong, sister. I mean, like, i feel cuckoo, long.

This weeks Christmas break combined with no good redbox movies on top of only reruns on the TV??

Ummm, I'm lucky i'm still able to manage the upright position at this point, people!!!


Someone help me.

No don't. It'll only bother me.

I want it to go away--i do. I really do. But i can't quite seem to detach this feeling from my innermost being.

So, to help you really get a clear picture in your head of how its going over here, let me tell you about what my days have pretty much consisted of lately. I get up.Put on my robe.(but you already knew that) Make tea as i walk downstairs to check the internet. You know, to see what really important things i missed. Find out i missed nothing and now am offended by someones post. Head upstairs to set up MarioKart for the kids. Play words with friends. Ignore all housework.  Wander aimlessly to the laundry room. Curse the laundry. Break up a Mario Kart fight. Aimlessly head to the bedroom to "clean" (who am i kidding). Turn on the radio. Pretend to fold clothes. Head to the kitchen and wonder why no one has even called me yet. Feel sorry for myself. Wish i had a cake to eat. Back to the room. Look at the mess. Curse the mess. Look at the phone again. Curse the phone and its earshattering silence.. Think about that cake again. Break up another Mario fight--yell like a crazy person, to which the kids don't even acknowledge i'm alive. Head downstairs. Check the net. Play words with friends with my Mom.Call my Mom, complain, hear her tell me that i should just do the laundry and be happy for it, audibly gag a little, hangup.Wander aimlessly through the house--all while wishing someone (preferable Jason Statham)would break me free from this PRISON THAT I LIVE IN!!! (fall on my self made faint bed in my robe with my hand to my head) Sun sets. Its 3:30. Await bedtime....and possible death from boredom. Then get up and do it all over again tomorrow.

I know it sounds glamorous, doesn't it.

 I suppose you have been really productive this break, huh?

Oh, haaaave you. Well, aren't you just better than the rest of us!

I'm being real here, friends. And i hope you can accept that.

Cause if you can't--then i dare you to say it to my face.

I'm sorry.

Its not you, its me.

Its just--been--really, really dark and cold and boring for a while here.

And that's all i have to say about that.

But at least its supposed to be warm and sunny on Monday and all the kids will be at school and it will be glorious and peaceful and i will finally be uber productive and smiling.

Whats that you say?

Oh, really.

The governor did what now?

Well, shoot--WHERES MY FAINT BED!!!!!!!!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment