Saturday, December 21, 2013

Buck up.

Yesterday i had the privilege of going to Ruby and Laney's school and watching them as they participated in the schools first "Sing along".  I was excited, since Laney had been talking about it since Tuesday and i was totally confused if this was something that parents could be part of or what.

As i dropped the girls and presents off at the office i asked the secretaries if we were even allowed to watch the "sing along" and she excitedly said Yes! Which made me feel excited as well.

Though she did want me that here would likely be standing room only for parents who wanted to be there. No problem.

Junior and i were busy around the house getting Christmas stuff done until 2:00 when we headed to school.

I didn't really know what to expect but waited with the other parents to be let in the building. As i stood in the entry way i saw Ruby walk by.

Excited, i waved at her and smiled, she threw a glare my way and continued walking to the gym.  I really appreciate her kind and loving heart. Geez.

Finally after the parents next to me "snuck" in without someone giving the okay, i looked around at the parents next to me and said "Well, that was sneaky?!" They agreed and then we decided we should follow...

In the gym the kids were all sitting in rows, in their "elegant day" wear.


As i sat there the first thing i though was how very proud  I was that my kids went to a school that wasn't caught up in all the political correctness of celebrating everyone's holiday except Christmas.

Actually, that was the second thing i thought. First i actually thought about the questionable guy sitting next to me and i wondered if he may be carrying a gun?

And then i thought if he snapped and went nutzo and decided to shoot up the school, would i run or save the day?

Run or save the day???


Or save the day?

I felt like i would maybe want to run, but decided that in the end,  i'd definitely take a bullet to knock the gun man down. Yes. That is what i would do. I could do it. I prepared myself for it....

But after that dark and ugly thought passed --i really did think about how grateful i was that he kids were "north" and could still celebrate Christmas and sing Carole's!!

The kids sang as the music teacher casually directed and the words bounced across the screen. It was glorious.

In fact, if feels like all things that take place in the gym end up being wonderful!!

I was enjoying all of it. The beautiful Carole's, the songs celebrating Hanukkah (with the familiar and wonderful beat) and couple catchy Kwanzaa songs were sung.  Sure to please everyone.

As i sat there, talking to a friends Mom, she asked if i knew where Ruby was and i said i hadn't seen her yet. She pointed her out to me and said she had seen Ruby looking around--as if to find me.

Which made me smile and watch her every time she moved and when i finally saw her looking around, i stood up--against the wall--and waved and smiled at her--my eyes sparkling with joy and gladness.....

....until her eyes me mine, that is.

I waved and blew her a kiss.  And she instantly frowned at me and slunk out of my view.

She's fun like that.

About 50 minutes later the music ended and we headed out.  I congratulated the music teacher on a job well done and grabbed the kids and headed home.

Like always i am proud around Christmas time of the strong beliefs that are up here and the stance we take on celebrating Christmas.

And then i think of so many other schools that are further south that can only say "Happy Holiday" and it makes me crazy.

And then i started thinking about the whole Duck Dynasty thinking that is blowing up and that made me crazy.

Which in turn made me think of so many people that i know and they make me crazy.

(i may have had a little too much thinking time on my hands--yes, i see that.)

But you know what bothers me the most about things lately?

Its our worlds need to be victims. The way people fight for "tolerance" and yet don't extend it to all. The groups of people who feel like the "minority" or a group that feels "discriminated" or "unaccepted" and "judged" by society. They fight for themselves as if they are fighting a war against the world. The mean, cold, judgmental world.

When in reality, you are only as much a part of a  stereotype as you allow yourself to be. You can only be offended by choosing to be.

Like, take for example, the saying "you throw like a girl? What is that?  Is that a fact? Do some girls throw crappy? Yes. Yes indeed. But because it has become such a popular saying, does that make it a fact? Um, no. And anyone who disagrees with me can meet me on the softball fiend. And you can play catch with the one and only Emily Thielke--i guarantee you will not harass a female about throwing again. (and you'll likely have to ice your hand!)  Do you see what i am saying? Because people think it, doesn't mean i get offended by it--no, i rise it. I take it as a challenge. I train to throw harder, more accurate. So i don't have to beat anyone with my mouth....but with my actions.  Its about rising up and just "playing harder". My Dad has always taught me that you don't beat someone by talking bad or complaining about injustices on the field or court. You play harder and do better. In the end it will always win. If not for the world, for your soul. Your character. Your integrity.

Offence is a choice.

And my gosh, isn't there alot of offended people in this world?

Frankly i am so over it.

I feel like its not worth it to hold on to every little offense we have suffered. Every word misspoken. Every act, unkind. We are hyper aware of our feelings and yet completely unaware of the ones hurting around us.

One think i look at in a person is--are they crying for their own hurts or do they weep for the ones who are being hurt? Its a big deal to me.

Its so easy to see. Take your friends--you know the one who hurts for others. And you know the ones who are always hurting for themselves.

And truthfully, i'm so sick of our touchy society.

I believe in the "buck up" attitude.  Obviously there is a time and a place to be hurt--i'm not saying there isn't. But if you can't do something about a situation or a wrong or an offense or someone elses actions--then buck up!

Buck the heck up. Its the Minnesotan way.

When i see people hanging on to to many hurts its like i can see that person--inside--drying up and shriveling away --like a prune. And that's not healthy for anybody. (and i'm not saying i haven't done it too)

Holding on to our hurts can only do us good--if we move towards reconciliation.

But if we don't and it festers?  Well, then prune faces appear.

I often think of a post that a nurse friend of mine posted on facebook awhile back about the top 5 things patients regretted on their death bed and one of the things was holding on to anger, because it was usually that same anger that ended up killing them.  If it doesn't come out and get dealt with--then it goes inside--and does damage

I don't mean to sound too mean about it. But with this whole Duck Dynasty thing happening (i have never even seen that show) but i can read and i see the different thoughts and opinions popping up all over facebook.. The people standing for or against one party. Rednecks Vs. City folks. Homosexuals vs. Christians.  Liberals vs. Conservatives.  And i hate it.  Because the core of it all is selfishness. Yes we stand for what we believe. But just by posting things on facebook or coming out of the woodwork to attack someone elses opinions?? Its such a weird world we live in. When big talkers hide behind computer screens and shoot to kill over things that don't even directly affect them? Its weird.  Right?

Everyone feels like their party has been "persecuted" in our society and yet everyones yelling and fighting about it. You rarely see Love spoken in these times.  Its judgments--from every side. Its people just waiting with bated breath to see this Duck Dynasty family, since they are Christians, fall from grace. Its like the people just devour the misstep of a Christan.

And i think that is unfair.  Heck, the Christians are the most persecuted of all.  I believe that to be true.

But i am not going to hate over it. I won't give into anyones words. To connect hate and Christianity (though it is there in some people) isn't what i want to represent.

I don't know. I guess i feel like we feed on peoples sins. Though we are all sinners. And we have no grace for each there--though we demand it for ourselves.

Its confusing. And it leaves me feeling heavy hearted sometimes.

Last night i came home late but my kids had just gone to bed (cause their cool Dad snuck them to the sky zone with out their Momma) and when i got home i was frustrated and i was talking to Jeromy and heard a sound in Juniors room....

I finished talking and washed up for bed and i snuck into Juniors room. In the darkness he didn't see me. I walked quietly over to his bed. And as i pulled back his covers and climbed in, I heard his precious little tiny voice whisper "Mom?" and i whispered back, "Its me.Sorry to wake you, Mom just wanted to cuddle you." And he said, as he wrapped his arm around my neck and settled in "you didn't. i just woke up cause i wanted to see you."

And at that very moment, all things that weren't right in this world--melted away. And the love i felt in my heart was so great that i thought i may just explode.

After he drifted to sleep, i climbed into Ruby's bed and she told me about her day and we layed in the darkness, snuggling, and loving our time alone together.

And i was reminded that i don't have to be anything that i don't want to be. Anything people say or claim or assume about me???

Well, that just doesn't matter.

All i have and all that i want was right there under my roof.

And i was so full.