Friday, September 18, 2015

"Go."



I'm giving myself exactly 30 minutes to write this~and then its back to laundry, i promise.

Last night, we had a bit of drama at our house.

Our perfect and improving little adorable angel of a boy, Junior, wanted chips.

This is where the trouble begins.

Jeromy told him he could have some after he finished all of his chicken. I had run to the post office and was home shortly after this conversation took place.

As i was inside the house Junior yells to me that he wants chips.

To which i say, "You had chips for lunch, Junior, you can't only eat chips. No."

He insists that Dad said he could. We go back and forth a bit until i finally say, "if you want chips, you have to eat a yogurt first?" Not the worst punishment in the world, right?

Wrong.

Upon hearing my heart breaking news, Junior flipped.

I'm talking full on meltdown. Like tantrum throwing, door slamming, "you're the worst Mom in the world!" explosion.

My boy. My little angel. My buddy.

Yelling at me.

I wasn't gonna give in though.

If he wanted chips bad enough, he'd have to eat yogurt first. Period. End of discussion.

I went downstairs got on the computer to fill out some stuff.  And as i'm doing this i hear him stomping around. Only shortly after do i hear him coming down the stairs~ looking for me.

He was crying and sniffling the whole way.

My boy, my little angel, came to find me to tell me that i was the "worst" and that he wanted to live with someone else.

I turned to him and said, "Okay. Who are you going to live with?"

He thought a moment and answered, angrily, "UNCLE!"

I nodded and said, "okay."

Then he went on to tell me how much nicer it would be with him.  And i agreed and said "Okay, go."

He marched right back upstairs and proceeded to get his shoes on.

At that moment, Ruby started to panic, asking him "Where are YOU going!?"

Junior informed her that he was leaving.  And i heard them begin to discuss this and when he finally went out the front door, Ruby screamed to me and Jeromy that Junior was leaving and that we had to get him!

Then i heard Jeromy get up and walk to the door and tell her that he could go if he wanted. Let him be.  To which, she flipped a lid. Like, flipped it. (i'm starting to think it may just be in the genes.)

Now she's yelling/screaming at Jeromy that he's the worst ever and proceeded to call him any name she could think of, all while she panicked about Junior leaving.

Finally it got bad enough that i had to stomp up the stairs to give her the what for.

Both Laney and Ruby were itching to go outside to get Junior. Panicking.

We assured the girls that obviously he wouldn't leave and we loved him and were going to get him. We tried to calm them down. (and then i took this moment to remind her to remember this feeling the next time she tells him that he can't play with her.)

As i looked out my front door, i saw the saddest little scene that my heart has ever seen.

My boy. My precious little angel, was standing at the very end of our driveway, in the rain, hood up, shoulders hunched, facing the street. Just waiting.

Every now and then i'd see him turn around to look back at the house, in hopes of rescue.

But both Jeromy and I were ready to let him sit there for a few minutes. To teach him a little lesson on making threats.

As Jeromy peeked out the kitchen window, i peeked out the front door.

Watching as my boy -my sad, sad boy- stood weeping in the rain, wanting to run away.

About three minutes in, i couldn't TAKE it anymore. I thought my heart was gong to physically break in two.

From the moment that i slipped on my shoes to looking back at the window, he disappeared.  I yelled to Jeromy, asking if he saw where he went. He started scanning down the street and couldn't see him either.

I pulled my hood up and trudged out in the rain to find my little run-away baby.

As i got outside i could hear a faint cry, a whimper coming from somewhere close. But i couldn't find him. I checked in the camper. The truck. The van. The garage.

Then i panicked.

My tiny little new born left and the last thing i said to him was, "Go."

Go?! I officially was the worst.

I knew he was just sad and all it would take was me getting down on his level and asking him if he was having a bad day. That always did it. He always broke and cried and hugged me and reminded me that he had, in-fact, had a bad day.  It was precious. And i knew he just needed him Momma to hug him.

But where was he?

By now, Ruby and Laney are outside beside me.

And just as i go to look behind the house, my little teary eyed cherub, comes around the house, weeping in the rain.

He stopped when he saw me, and i stopped when i saw him.

"My boy."  i said, as i opened my arms to him.

Soaked from the rain, hood over his darling little head, and red rimmed eyes, he ran to me and i scooped him up.

And he just started to cry.

"Where were you going?" I whispered.

"Dad said Go! ......he told me to go". He weeped.

I hugged him close as the girls came around to find us, now on the porch.

"Did you have a hard day today, buddy?"

"Y-e-s-s-s-s". he said, burying his little head in my neck.

I went on to tell him that no matter where he was or what he did, that Momma would always love him and would never stop looking for him.

I told him how when he left, it broke my heart a little.

As we held each other and i soothed his tears..................he asked me for chips.

But before i could even answer, as if a gift from God, Laney broke the silence yelling out "Mom!! A red squirrel!"

Instantly the drama of the day came to an end.  I immediately set Junior down, ran to get the gun and raced back to the kids, who were now circling the pine tree trying to keep an eye on its path.

Jeromy was already up the tree trying to spook the squirrel enough to get it to move from its invisible bunker.

Within moments the gun was locked and loaded, the kids had found the squirrel, Jeromy was shaking the tree that he was now 20 feet into and like a bat out of you-know-what, that squirrel jumped from the top of the tree into oblivion. We watched with awe as it sailed-almost as if in slow motion-across the sky, at the last moment managing to grab another branch from another tree if only by the hair of its chinny-chin-chin.

And just like that, as quickly as it had come into our night, it disappeared. Along with all the tears, drama and hurt.

You never know how united you are as a family until a red squirrel crosses your path. And then, like beautiful, beautiful clock work, you move as one. A team.  A beautiful-crazy-little-dramatic team.

Yesterday you lived, squirrel and for that, i say Thank You. 

As for today: i make no promises.