Friday, May 3, 2013

I love em.

Last night Jeromy and I watched 'The Impossible'. Its a movie staring Naomi Watts and Ewan Mcgregor and its a true story about a family that was in the Tsunami in Thailand.

And within the first 30 minutes of the show, this tsunami hit and its eerily quiet--except for the rushing water-- and the mother finally comes up from below the water, all beaten up and panicked, and in that silence she looks around to sees no one.  And then her screams break the silence with such force that it was emotional just to watch it. The sound of a screaming mother, searching for her family. Well, i thought i might just bawl if this movie continued to evoke this much emotion. Something inside me was tearing my heart as i pictured myself in that situation. Can you even imagine? I can't do it justice---just watch it.

It was so well done. I loved it.  (just a reminded the part i am talking about is in the first 30 minutes, and its a two hour show, so worry not your pretty head, i would never ruin a movie by telling its end)

Was i stressed for two hours? YES!

Is anything more painful to watch than a mother trying to protect her family? NO!


That's what i have to say about that.

I am that Mom at the store that hears a kid crying or throwing a fit and i watch as the parent will stand their ground and insist that they can NOT have goldfish--or whatever.  And I want to grab a bag of M&M's and hand it to the kid to just make them happy. I hate watching a parent yell at their kids at a store.  They are usually texting or on their phone and distracted and when their child is trying to get their full attention the parent says "Johnny, STOP it!!" and continues with their other conversation.

I usually feel like walking by that distracted person and whacking their phone out of their hands as i continue to shop...and maybe handing their kid a bag of M&M's--you know, for good measure.

Ugh. Its so easy to see what i don't like in OTHER people sometimes.  Just that lack of attention that is given to kids.  I always feel bad for the kids and can just see they are wanting the parents attention and not getting it.

Now, i know that day could have been a long one for the parent and they could have had a sleepless night, and lots of work to do, maybe another kids is home sick, or they are fighting with their husbands, I don't know. But i try to understand we are all human and we all have a right to our feelings.

But there is just something about a parent yelling at their kids in the grocery store that really irks me.  Actually its not so much the yelling, as the annoyed look  i see on their face.

Like the other day, i was at Target waiting to go in and i saw this mother and what appeared to be her 15 year old son driving. And he came to a halt in between two parking spaces and i could see her yell "Stop!!"   Then he did and she got out and slammed that door open and flew around to to take the wheel. She was ticked.  And when she got to the other side, she went to fling the door open, but it was still locked and it totally jarred her --which made her whack the window as hard as she could, about three times--and her son hurriedly opened the door from the other side and that Mom whipped it open and sat down and threw that baby into drive and literally squealed away.

Ha!! It totally made me laugh.  Chill out lady.   That poor boy.  He looked like a good kid, and honestly the driving that i saw him do was much better than the driving that i saw her do. Ohhh, it still makes me smile thinking about it....

But you know what?  I was at Target that night because i was at my wits end at home and i had run away for a few hours. Not unlike that crazy door slamming woman!? Oops.

I guess i am somewhere in the middle.  I mean, i like being at Hockey games because I'll hear a parent yell, "Get over here, Tommy!"  in an aggressive way. And i get that.  I like that.  I feel more comfortable at a game or at a fair where i hear parents talking to their kids like that.  They don't seem as annoyed--you can just tell its how they talk. They are still loving, but not in a whispery kind of way.

A little bit of goofing around, just a pinch of some yelling, a random arm grab and a whole heart of love!! That's a good combination, if ya ask me.  It feels REAL.    There are too many words these days. Words in front of a crowd, but craziness behind closed doors.

 I mean, lets let our craziness just hang out, right?

I would rather see the door slamming Mom in the car with her kids--a hundred times over--than the distracted parent in the store feeling annoyed that their child is even speaking.

Does anyone else think that?  No? Probably not, you're all the "whispering Moms", aren't you?!

"Oh, please don't touch that apple, Cindy. Oh thank you for listening. It makes me feel so happy to know that you hear and respect my words..."

Ha! Oh that's fun to even re-read :) Cause its so not me!!

I'm more "Touch that apple again, Junior, and i'm gonna break your arm!"

Ha!  That's fun to reread as well... :)

But then there are the days--like when I leave home to go to Target--my "padded room"--to find some peace.

That i stop and think, Am i doing any of this right?

What if my kids grow up to be rotten? What if they aren't nice, or kind, or loving or compassionate, or empathetic? What if they're judgmental, hypocritical, untruthful, vengeful, hateful....

Oh my gosh, i should have been a nun!!!

I can't do any of this right!

Until i see a kid crying in the cart or wanting a toy they can't have--and it makes me sad.  All kids should be loved. All kids should have parents that love them. That breaks my heart to think of kids with parents who ignore them, are bothered by them, wish they would grow up and move out or need a lot of "time away" from them.

And then it hits me.  That i may not be a "whisperer" (i am sure this news shocks you.) Heck, my kids know the words to Macklemore's song, "Can't hold us". And ya know what? I totally think its cool. Cause they're totally cool. They are nice. They are funny. They are loving. They are caring. They are good.

And all i can do is continue to pray for them each morning and pray that where i fail, God will prevail.

And that is my prayer. Its my saving grace on a bad day. Lord, i screw up all the time. I get mad easily. I am sassy sometimes.  I forget their homework randomly.  But where i fail--please prevail!!!

All i can do is love my kids like crazy. And i do.  I don't like being with out them. I don't want a night away from them.  I want to snuggle and squeeze and kiss them forever. Because they are just little babies and they only have us to fight for them.

When we come up from the tsunami of life--twisted and torn, broken and bleeding--you can bet the first words out of my mouth--the first ear piercing scream--will be my kids names.

Because God made mothers different.  I believe we have such a capacity to love-- to a fault maybe--that is truly beyond comprehension.

I love my little fart faced, sassy, talkin' back, oh no you di-unt, love you to the moon and back kids so much!!!

Even when i see all my failures screwing them up, there is no place i'd rather be than right here--every single night of my life--loving on these babies!!!

Cause God made me their mother. And that's a job that i take very seriously.