Thursday, October 6, 2011

I am Christina Boone, Ruby's Mom.

I just got finished with the most special day ever!! I have had a great day with my kids and i am just overwhelmed with total love and admiration for the little humans that they are. 

Ruby was the STAR of the day at school today. And that entailed my getting alot of stuff ready (and you all know how great i am at that...) So i ordered pictures to put on her STAR board and i set aside time for her to color it and arrange the pics with me, i thought about the book that we were going to read aloud to the class (a little nervous, i gotta say) and filled out the form about why Ruby was a star to us.   I was actually a little concerned about it last night and anticipated it like it was my first day of school. (even though i have been there with her before)

Like every day of her lolly gagging life, Ruby missed the bus. She is the slowest poke when it comes to getting ready.  About every 5 minutes she breaks from what she is doing in the morning (ya know, the important stuff like getting dressed and eating breakfast) and goes to find (and snuggle) with her kitty. I tell ya, not a morning goes by fluidly...always a little hectic rush.  But, hey, that's who we are.  Poky, unorganized snugglers.

I dropped Ruby off at school and hurried to get the little ones (one who is forever in his PJ's) to Walmart in time to get some groceries, deposit a check (thank you, Lord) and get home to get my makeup on before Ruby's 11:10 lunch hour.

Like the Christina way, we managed to get it done quickly and got home with about 12 minutes to spare...

...which meant i had to mess with the chickens for about7 of those minutes....anyhow...

I threw on my makeup and some fancy earrings (Ruby always likes that) and headed with the kids to school to spend time with Ruby at lunch, then recess, and then her STAR book reading and commentary from yours truly.

I got to lunch a few minutes late with two little kids in tow and found Ruby.  My shining star, Ruby.  She was sitting at the table like a perfect angel surrounded by her friends and smiling and waving towards us.  My heart skipped a beat.  My baby girl had grown up. Right there before my eyes, she was a school girl now.  But even with the group of kids vying for her attention she got up and hugged us and showered all her beautiful and caring attention to her mom and siblings.  She is amazing.  That child is so kind that it blows me away . (Unless its in the middle of the night and her sister is trying to cuddle her...but thats rare.)

I ate lunch with the kids. I love those kids. They are each precious in their own special way. Of course i talked to Ruby's (and apparently Laney's) best friend, Samantha.  I have come to love that little angel like my own child. 

My Mom surprised us by showing up too.  She had come from a hair appointment and Ruby was over the moon. She didn't know Grandma would be here.  It was fantastic.

After lunch we went to recess where i watched Laney pretend she didn't know any of us and she clung to Samantha . That's going to be the one i have to reign in, I think. Oy. 

As i stood there talking to my Mom in the sunshine and watching my three amazingly perfect kids play, something happened.  My heart was soaring and breaking all at the same time.  This is a big deal, this school. And Ruby is perfect at it.  She is so content on her own, but people seem to love her. Its the perfect balance of wonderful.  I watched her go from the monkey bars to the swing, stopping to help her brother get his shoes on the right feet.  She came over and gave me and Grandma a hug randomly to assure us of her love.  And i felt so overwhelmed with pride in my child that i didn't know what to do.  She is growing up.  She's becoming this beautiful caring and loving and giving and generous little lady. All the fear and anxiety that i had watching Ruby in kindergarten melted away as i saw her fit so well into the groove of school.  School.  She is on her way to 12th grade and i want to stop her and freeze time just for a moment.  I want to hold her and never let go. I am so proud of her.  It wasn't nervousness anymore, she was having fun with her firends.  I couldn't ask for anything more.  My heart is full today.

As we got back into the classroom i read "Breaking out of the Bungle Bird," one of our favorite books.  Ruby sat on my lap and it was indescribable.  I got to read my little 5 lined page about why Ruby is a star to us and i ended it by telling the class that "my favorite thing about Ruby is that when she was born i became a Momma."  And honestly even though it was just me and 20 little souls, i had to hold it together. I could feel the lump rising in my throat and i had to swallow hard to finish. I felt so full of love when i talked about her and I meant every word that i said about her.  Sometimes saying all the things that you think about your baby aloud is harder than we imagine but such a powerful reminder of our intense love for them.

I love my Ruby girl, and i am so proud and honored to be her mother.  She truly gave me the greatest gift that i could ever receive.

I am Christina Boone, Ruby's Mom.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

So long facebook

Well, its official...i de-activated my facebook account one week ago!  Its been refreshing and liberating.  And a little difficult.  The moment i cancelled my account, i felt great.  I say it so often "Facebook is raising a generation of losers."  Well, maybe not losers...but.....

My opinion of facebook is this.  I am a stay at home mom and its a fun break in the day to see what my friends are doing and to feel like i am connecting with other grown ups.  Just a peaceful break.  Ya, that was about the first week of facebook and then came a few snags. A couple offenses.  Too much spoken, or too much taken away.  People are being offended and offending ever day!  I know a few people who personally think facebook is there soapbox and if you post something they don't agree with, they think it is totally cool to attack.  But since it is a public forum, people see and hear and are affected by other peoples opinions. And the worst part about it is we got ourselves into this predicament!!  We can't complain because we are feeding into it.   Plus, some posts are just dumb. Am i right?  Come on, i don't care to hear your whole days schedule EVERY day.  But to each their own. Thats the beauty and ugliness about facebook. We can all do and say what we feel like doing.  Its "our" page or "our"opinion. 

If ya talk to anyone, i don't care who, they will tell you that they have had  a bad experience or a friend loss or a fractured relationship because of facebook.  Its sad.  Its life.  The era of technology. I want it now and i'm gonna get it.

I didn't have any specific bad thing happen to me (this time) that prompted me to delete my account.  I just think, here i sit saying over and over my fear for the next generation because of facebook and texting and cell phones and DS and Wii.  There is no more face to face conversations happening.  No more phone calls. We text because we just have one piece of info to share and heaven forbid we ever take a moment to chit chat with a friend or family member.  I mean, when the last time you've asked or heard someone ask "How's your day going?"  Its not as frequent as it used to or should be.  Of course it still does happen. I have beautifully kind friends and we talk intimately and in depth. I love it.  I have a super great group of people in my life.  But i also have a super not great group of people in my life too.  Thats life, huh?

If i boast of my dislike for facebook and my intentions to keep my kids away from technology forever (or close to that) what does it say about me that i come downstairs and quick (it never ends up quick) log onto facebook.  And don't even get me offended or my day will be wasted with my kids. I'll be so conscious in my frustration in my head that i'll miss the present with my actual, palpable, right in front of me, kids. My beautiful loving and wanting babies. They just want time and i am not going to waste one minute of it thinking about anything other than what they are telling me.  NO conversations are going to slip into my head. NO great comebacks. No great fact to prove someone wrong.  Just love. Relationships are what matter the most. 

But with that said, i also have so many dear friends on facbook that i only keep in contact with that way. I have developed great relationships, rekindled friendships and laughed at some of my amazing facebook friends.  So, i miss them.  I do miss it.  I'm not saying i won't be back.  I just won't yet.

We made it though life perfectly fine 15 years ago with out facebook and i am determined to remind my self of how to do that.  And my kids, i can't be a hypocrite. So i guess i have to stay off here for awhile.  Plus, you wouldn't believe all the deep cleaning and housework that I've gotten done since i haven't taken any "facebook breaks" that interrupted my groove in the laundry room.

So, to all 5 of you who will read this.  There ya go.  I am happy with my choice and i am determined to stick it out.  I miss reading all of your posts, but i'll find you...don't you worry about that:)