Thursday, September 22, 2011


Just when i think the tides-a-changin i find myself knee deep in another sleepless night!  As most of my friends know, i am a rocker. Not just to music (the cool way) but also with my babies.  I am an advocate of it and love snuggling so much.  I mean, i better,  i have been doing it for SIX YEARS NOW!  :)

When Ruby was a baby i would rock her to the smooth sounds of Neil Diamond's Essentials while i stood. Then it was Laney's turn with a rocker and Juniors turn (when i got smart) with a recliner. (Remember Jeromy's offer to help if we "just got a better chair?" )  So after 6 years of rocking someone, i thought i was done with the middle of the night rocks.  It has been about a month or so since someone has woken up in the middle of the night screaming my name, fighting, coughing, or crying and i was kind of loving it. Sleep, this beautiful thing that i have never known.

But last night, as Jeromy headed off to church i rocked my sweet angel, Junior, to sleep as he coughed a little. I knew what was in store for me last night. I felt it . Call it rockers instincts :)  About a half hour after i got him to bed and the girls were settled in their bed. Laney was sawing logs and Ruby (who has proclaimed herself "not a sleeper")  was laying in bed, but only waiting for a reason to come out.  Junior started coughing and coughing and coughing....i knew it was only time before he called out for me.  Ugh, and Law and order was just about to start!  Wouldn't ya know, at about 8:30 he was coughing so hard that it turned into gagging (typical dramatic boy) and then crying out for him Momma.  I went in there and hoped to rock him back to sleep with ease...hoped.  He was coughing so hard that it wasn't working. Just as i though he might finally slip back into sleep filled bliss...i hear this huge scratching sound!! June startled and i saw the shadow of those two dumb cats in his room(they snuck in behind me)...trying to get into a closed box!! Ugh. Those cats will be the death of me.  Junior started to cry/cough and i got up to see if i could give him a little something to make him feel better and brought him into the kitchen.  Well, even with the lights off he started to get a second wind. Suddenly that little cat nap was just enough to take the edge off and we could get this party started...(his thought, NOT mine)   Seeing he was in play mode, i sat in front of the TV and thought i will wait for Jeromy to get home and he can rock him and it will be great.  I asked J why he was awake? (With the quiet Momma voice) and he looked at me and said "Because you waked my up!  You carried me out here..."  Looking at me like i was the dummy who had forgotten.  Right, i woke you up.


Well Jeromy got home and we sat for a bit together and junior gave me the "its okay to watch big kid shows" speach so i put on some old Jimmy Fallon DVR. (hey if i was going to do this, at least i would do it with Jimmy by my side:)  Finally about 10 o'clock Jeromy rocked him to sleep and came back out to the living room, grabbed a blanket and layed down on the couch and fell right asleep.  I've gotta say, sometimes when my husband slips off into wonderland as i anxiously anticipate the length of night i am going to have, i kind of want to take a pillow and knock him over the head with it and say "could you just be as concerned about this cough as i am!!??"  But alas, i hear my Mothers voice in my head telling me that "he works so hard and he has to get up early every morning and go to work." (read that with dripping sympathy in your voice) 

Sooo, i double check all the windows, turn the lights down and watch SVU and try to enjoy as much "alone" time as possible. 

1:20 AM...Laney is next to me in bed. Coughing like a crazy person about 1 millimeter from my face.  After about 2minutes of that i lug my butt out of my disgusting marshmallow like bed and slide down to the end (cause i am next to the wall, and i can't wake the sleeping King)  I uncoordinatedly grab Laney and bring her back to her bed, where she tells me she has to go potty. So i bring her the the bathroom by the light of the moon and wait, then i pick her up and carry her back to her bed, where she tells me she needs her sippy cup of water that she dropped (and emptied). Okay.  So i am on the floor on my hands and knees looking all over as silently as possible in hopes not to wake her any further or i knew she would be up all night.  I eventually had to turn on the stinkin bathroom light and still can't find it!! I tip toe into the kitchen and fill another cup for her and deliver it and sneak back to my room.
If you know anything about my house, its that no one wakes up just once. About 20 minutes later Laney wakes up howling for me and that startles Jeromy (i know, crazy) and he's all confused (see, he's never been up in the middle of the night) and he says in a daze "who is it? what is it?"  Ugh. Immediately i am annoyed and say "its LANEY! She had a bad dream."  See, after 4 years of interpreting her cries, i know this is the bad dream one.  Jeromy goes in there and talks to her and comes back to bed.  That was fast, i think. I always get roped in to snuggling and prying them off me and then eventually getting mad while they cry and get their way.  So, this is good. She's going to sleep.  Well, about 10 minutes later the girls are fighting...FIGHTING, in the middle of the night because Laney is trying to snuggle up to Ruby and she is NOT having it, which then leads to a little yelling between them and Laney breaking into hysterics.  That's about the time my brain slips into the red zone and i start hearing the crazy sound for the movie Kill Bill. (if you don't know what it is, watch the movie...because i hear it alot)  Wweeeee, wuuuuu, weeeeee, wuuuuuu...

I scoot my big ol' butt down the bed (don't want to wake the King after all he did got up once and he is going to need a serious nap today to recooperate) Right about now, i forget its  2 o'clock in the morning and i quietly/aggressively whisper to Laney that she is fine and that Ruby needs to protect her because Uncle Sam used to take care of me when i was little and darn it, that's what family does!!!! (the volume increased with every word i spoke) For the next hour this seriously happened about 4 times.  They argue, big Momma goes in there and lays down the lay! ( and not the sweet i love you. let me rock you to sleep kind)

I stomp back to my room feeling like an angry crazy Momma.  I am so ticked that i can't sleep...and just when i finally fall into blissful slumber...Laney screams (the bad dream kind) and i get stomp in there just about trip on those darn cats, because they walk about an inch from my foot every step i take and that meowing...meowing...always meowing...(you or me cats, you or me)  When i fnially get to the bed, I just climb into it and grab Laney, snuggle her up and hope for just a moment of sleep, please.  I am laying like, sideways across the bed because one of those cats are at the foot of the bed and i don't want to disturb it (i KNOW, i don't know why either) so my feet are on Ruby's side and my face is an inch from Laney and i am so hot that i want to scream. But not just hot, its like the cover didn't even cover me all the way up, so my behind is sticking out (i know, shocker) and that is cold and my feet are under about 27 gazillion blankets  and they are on fire and i want to scream...

Ruby suddenly wakes up and thinks this is like, our special talk time and i can tell she is trying to be sweet and she keeps scooting to get her feet to touch mine and Laney is hacking her germs into my mouth and the cats and the blankets and the heat and the cold and the sleeping hubby and the.........i felt crazy.  I think ya get the drift.  The last time i remember seeing the clock was 4:55AM

I feel myself drift off. The temperature is comfortable. The kids are quiet. The cat is...who cares. And i am happy. About to sleep, and happy.  But whats that quiet noise that i hear in the back of my head?  It started like a muffle and keeps getting louder and louder?  COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOOOOOOO, COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOOO...

In my sleepy stuper i start to panic (in an unmoving way) i am confused and suprised that they can hear the rooster this loudly. Why is the room so loud with rooster...why? How can they hear him this loud? COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOOO...COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOOO...

When i finally find my bearings i realize that i am not even in the girls room at all, i am in my room, Jeromy has left for work and my window is open and Buzz is crowing right out side it...What the what?  What is this life i live? 

Its like i had three kids and though this is too easy, i am going to rock them individually, allow my husband to sleep at will, get a ton of chickens, get two annoying cats and own a dog...heck, lets just throw in a rooster for good measure.

Oy. That was my night.  It never gets old.  I even let the kids sleep in until 9:30 today.  Ruby was tardy to school, i was late for a play date but how could i wake these sleeping angels when they had so little sleep?  They will never kick this cold if they can't rest peacefully, right?  As i think about it, i wonder sometimes, who is running this ship? WHO. IS. RUNNING. THIS. SHIP?

I think it may just be the rooster...