Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Its hip to be square

I've realized a few things about myself lately....well, maybe i always knew them.

No, i definitely always knew them.

I am just now putting them all together.

Cause clearly i have nothing better to do.

As i dissect my personality and my "style" in life i have come to a few conclusions.

I can look past a floor that has a pile of laundry on it or a basket the needs to be folded, but i HATE when Jeromy's shirt drawer is out of order!  I find myself refolding all his tee shirts on a weekly basis.  All while i take a squat on that pile of laundry that i am overlooking.

I wouldn't dare eat meat that wasn't organic or pasture raised, but i give my kid an Icee just about every time i go to Target.

I talk alot and sometimes come off like i am mad or arguing, when in fact--its the silence you want to look out for.

My favorite time with my husband is when we are watching a movie together.  We are both totally engaged and totally in to it. And sometimes we can agree that maybe we BOTH--in fact-- wouldn't mind kissing Jason Statham!!

 Mmmmmmm....Jason Statham.

I like the cloudy, overcast days more than the sunny ones because they make me feel less pressure to get stuff done.

I can have a dessert ready at any moment of the day--but dinner hurts my brain as i ponder it ALL day.

If i could skip meals and just eat cake--well, i definitely would. (and maybe already don't know)

I feel afraid about 99% of the time, but powerful when i have a shotgun at my shoulder or a ball in my hand.

I love talking to my friends, but sometimes i just can't find my phone--i hear it, but i just can't find it.

I have trouble deciding if i would rather be friends with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler or Kristin Wiig and Maya Rudolph....who am i kidding, I'd pick Gilly every time!!!

Jimmy Fallon makes me happy, but Jimmy Kimmel bugs me.

I think if someone has too many "likes" on a post on facebook, then they don't need me to do it---even if i really DID like the comment.

 Does that mean that I withhold affection?


Cause I'm a super high fiver.

(high five to you for agreeing)

(ohh, cold shoulder to YOU for not.)

I think girls rule and boys drool....unless the boy is mine then i think he hung the moon!!!

Sometimes i have to physically say out loud "Christina, put that stinkin' dish in the sink" or i will walk away and never return.

I want to laugh 90% of my day, and yell the other 10%

I hate organized people.....cause i am super jealous. (Shhhhh)

Sorry i said "hate",  I didn't mean to.....

I have never once spelled "definitely" correct, without having to spell check it... Ugh, that one bugs me. Its that darn second "i" it always gets me.

I could have a hundred dollar bill in my hand when i am at Caribou, but if they try to charge me for whip cream on my iced white mocha-- Sister, you don't even want to know. I go loco on them. That's what makes it NOT a latte. The whip and white chocolate!!!!  The whip is ALREADY included in the price. So now you are tyring to double charge me for the whip?  (Which i clearly need--since my swimsuit just like totally hangs off me--obviously).  If after all my arguing they don't concede? Then i just change to the hot white mocha.(passive aggressively)  And then i win, Caribou....I WIN!!!!!

This year when i got on my bike, i felt like the wheels started to cry.

(Which reminds me, no more cake...or whip cream.....FINE, no more mocha's either, Geez, what are you? Hitler?)

No matter what happens in a day, my kids always can make me smile. Always. Except when they are giving me a headache... But after a shot of ibuprofen--I'm all smiles again!

If i ever offend you--don't be. I am messing around about 90% of my life.  Unless i am talking about Jesus or my kids--then i'm probably very serious.

Is it possible that i am growing? Or is everyone else just shrinking? Guh.

I can dig in the dirt or carry rocks or rake all day long---just please don't ask me to do dishes--then i am really tired.

My husband is oddly capable of really bugs me.

I will argue till i am blue in the face against families being busy-- I believe simplicity is best and kids thrive in it.

Softball is awesome--soccer is totally lame (but i'm sure you all already knew that!)

Golf and tennis are dumb (you could basically wear a skirt in both), but basketball and hockey are awesome!

No matter how tired i am i will stay up late to watch TV. Its a blessing and a curse.

Thought i can't stand our bed and its disgusting softness--nothing feels better than climbing back into it around 4 am, after a night of bed jumping between two kids teeny, tiny, elf like beds.

I like to help out--as long as i initiate it and its not "too" formal. If there's a sign up sheet--- i rebel.

 I think rules are made to be followed. Unless its the don't eat past 7 o'clock rule. I mean, hello, if i followed that rule when would i eat my ice cream and chips?

I have embraced my spandex like running capris---but if my underwear band is too tight--its just plain gonna be a bad day, OKAY?!

Which leads me to the fact that i used to not know what a "muffin top" was---lets just say that now i do....

When i read blogs i sometimes think people pretend to know it all and have it all together--that's why i am writing this one.  So you can all agree that "at least you're not that bad off!" Ha, i don't even care. Lets all laugh about it....

Sometimes i feel like the only woman who can start to clean her room, find a towel that belongs in the bathroom, bring it to the bathroom, find an article in a magazine that i want to read, read it, run a bath and read it, get out, realize i left a cup in the bathroom, head to the kitchen, see there are lots of dishes that need to get into the washer, load it, go to start it, see i am almost out of soap, turn to the fridge to write it on the list, decide i am hungry, roam the cupboards and fridge, decide to make puppy chow quick, turn to see my towel on the floor as i walk past the bathroom, walk down stairs to put it in the laundry room, walk past the office, start the washer, check if i got an email, read a blog, read facebook, decide i am bored, walk upstairs, eat puppychow, look for towel to dry hands, remember the washer that i started and didn't fill, go down stairs, quick check facebook, head upstairs determined to clean my room, look out the window, realize i didn't let the chickens out, get my shoes on, take out the garbage, let the chickens out,  realize Junior came out with me and won't come back in, sit on the porch and enjoy the sunshine, feel pressure--cause thats what sun does to me, call Sarah, talk until her battery dies, go inside to make dinner, Think "whats for dinner?" Ugh, go downstairs to find some meat, check facebook, remember the laundry, its cold water now, start over, go upstairs, sit in my room, think i should really clean it,  then look out the window at my beautiful chickens and watch them as i lay across my bed and smile at the window... Until I hear the garage door open, realize Jeromy is home and panic as i thought that i did stuff today and yet did nothing all at the same time, hurry and pick up the living room, and grab a arm full of towels and walk downstairs--just as he opens the door--and  pray that I fool him into thinking (as i have a load of laundry in my arms, hello?) that i have been efficient all day long!! Fhewww.

Which reminds me, have i ever told you how very disciplined I am? Oh, i haven't? Hmmmm.

Maybe some day.

Wait, why did I even start this?

 i know i came downstairs for something....but what was it?



.....was it?.........


Ooooh, look at the birds outside.....


  1. Awesome blog!Dying laughing over here!

  2. I love this. Hahahah. Part if you give a mouse a cookie and also, I once heard if you spray some pledge just inside of the front door before your husband comes home. He will be fooled into thinking you have been cleaning your heart out all day byt the glorious smell!!!

  3. Love it! I totally do the same thing with cleaning. This is why the toys are halfway picked up, the floor is mostly clean, dinner is sorta started, the dessert recipe is printed but I need to start it and I'm reading your blog :)

  4. I really do think you are my daughters' long-lost sister.