Monday, July 16, 2012

Shake it out

"Its hard to dance with the devil on your back, so shake it out..."

Those are the lyrics that have been going through my head for the past three days.   Friday was rough.   Ya ever have rough days? Anyone? Does anyone ever have days that aren't just full of sunshine and God's many blessings?  It never fails that when things are going bad it seems everyone else is talking about how amazing and wonderful life is. Which is awesome for them, but some days i just don't want to hear it.

I'll just say Friday stunk.  Without going into detail.  Ruby got picked on by an adult and I was told that its "her fault that she makes people hate her!" by this person...who happens to be a family member.

I was deleted from someone's "friend list" on facebook because we have different views on eating.  I eat meat. She doesn't . She chose animals over humans. Over real relationships...She is a family member.

I got a snotty, condescending and self righteous email telling me to stop asking for a recipe that someone said was a secret. A recipe? ...From a family member.

Jeromy got a very surprising phone call causing lots of thoughts and decision making...From a family member about a family member.  (and i use that term so very loosely here)

Jeromy was taken on a rollercoster of emotions in a series of text messages. It ranged from hearing that this person wanted to spend time with Jeromy to calling him very foul words and claiming they are "no longer family". Same person, same text messages. I call him Dr. Jekyl or Mr. Hyde.

Each of these things cause cracks in relationships. Cracks that eventually turn into fractures that turn into breaks that turn into infections which result in amputations. Right.

It was a bad Friday. The 13th, no less.

I have always been a huge advocate for families. Friends can not take the place of a family. God placed us in each special and unique family for a reason.  I believe that.  But i also find myself asking the question "Why?" What good can come from hurt after hurt after hurt?

I am "Law and Order". Jeromy tells me that about once a day.  I see a problem and i think there should be a resolution before I can move on.  I won't pretend that something didn't happen. I don't mind confronting the issue and struggling through it. Because when i truly get through it, its over. I am done with it and I move on.  But it takes two to have that conversation. When one wants to address an issue and others refuse to acknowledge it, its really hard to move forward. Almost impossible, for me. (Don't tell him, but i see Jeromy starting to take on these traits too...and i like it!)

Then after the resolution, i believe in earthly consequences.  You treat someone badly. There is (or should be) a consequence. I know that in God's eyes all sin is equal. A lie, a murder. God is sad regardless.  But also for those actions i believe 100% in earthly consequences. God forgives. God wipes our slate clean. That is exactly why He died on the cross, for our sins. He was innocent and he took on the worlds sin. Innocent.

Even writing that calms me down. Lately i feel like i just want vengeance for some peoples actions.  But i know vengeance isn't mine. But honestly i have trouble just waiting.

Romans 12 17-19 "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everybody. Do not take revenge, my friend, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written; "It is mine to avenge; i will repay, says the Lord."

I feel fearful when i watch the breakdown of the family unit. It makes me worry. Especially when i see it happening right under my nose. I mean, my very nose, because i feel the breakdown happening in my family and i am aware of it and fighting against it, and yet it is still happening.

That's the devil. I know it. I just know it, and it still hurts. It still makes me question things. Feel frustrated.

But then i get to thinking, when that email came through, who did i call? A family member. When my daughters feelings were hurt, who did i talk to? A family member.  When Jeromy was hurt who did he call? Well, he called a good friend--but i called a family member :)

When we felt overwhelmed and frustrated and saddened we went over to the Alamo's house. Our amazing friends. And just seeing them lifted and even washed away our sadness. I am so grateful for them.

A few weeks ago, i was frustrated about another impossible situation and i went to our neighbors pool to swim. Problems? Vanished. Worries? I didn't think i had any. We truly enjoy the time we spend with the Browns.

We have some really great friends.
There might just be a whole lot of bad in this world. Heck, even in the family. But there is a whole lot of good too.  And ya see, good wins. Always. Good will win. The devil is bad, but God is bigger. I think we can forget that. Satan was kicked out of heaven because God said so. God choose. Not satan. God is bigger. God is stronger.

And today, i want to remind myself of that. Yeah, satan might have been or is still attacking us. But i have Jesus and He is more powerful and He will protect me. I just need to seek refuge in Him.

Hebrews 13:5-6 "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence."The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

He won't leave me nor will he forsake me. Which means that even though i walk through the valley, He is here beside me. I will do everything in my power to honor God, because "...our citizenship is in heaven." (Philippians 3:20) not on this earth. And though things can look grim, it is only temporary.

So if you have the devil on your back today...shake him off.