Sunday, September 1, 2013

Get out alive

I knew this morning was going to be a good one when i woke up and opened the window to feel the cool breeze.

I made special monkey bread for the family as Jeromy slept and the kids played outside.

Coffee was brewing.

The wind was blowing.

The kids were laughing...

... and all was good.

Jeromy woke up and we ate breakfast together and had coffee and then he proceeded to head outside to work on his camper.

I continued to work on the inside of the house.  Randomly looking out my window to see the kids in their backpacks and hats making their way through the woods and up in the trees

They were playing a game.

Which is a fun one we play since we introduced the kids to the show "Get out alive" with Bear Grylls.

Ruby loves to play "Bear" and makes the other kids be the contestants and they have to create a "food" or "shelter" for the day.

Like so...You can't quite tell, but this is alot of pine needles, an what looks to be one of my solar lights from the front porch and some balls, and sticks and maybe a walnut from my parents tree...i don't even know.

I noticed a tree was broken as one of the kids tried to get sticks for their "fire"--one of the challenges of the show.


And i showed it to Jeromy and we decided it was time to call the contestants in and tell them what they did well in this challenge and what they needed to work on. (one being, stop breaking healthy trees)

Jeromy brought them inside to the table and was very serious when addressing who had the challenge of the "fire" and how they did and then who made the "shelter" and how did they feel that went. And then he asked, "who broke the tree?"

All fingers pointed to Laney. And Jeromy continued--as i had to hold my hand over my mouth and pretended to be concentrating instead of stifling a laugh--that although that was a good plan and it would have been nice to have more branches to create a softer shelter...Laney, you in fact, would NOT get out alive. Sorry.

Okay, I see that sounds harsh. But if you watch the show--which we did--that is the "line" that's the "You're fired" signature Trump line. Its how you know who goes home each week. The one that wouldn't get out alive.

Laney took this seriously.


And stood up and went downstairs, as i heard her begin to whimper.

Which made me look at Jeromy and say "They were a team, the TEAM was supposed to go! Not our highly sensitive daughter! Geez."

Damage was done.

We moved on.

Jeromy went back out to the camper.

I continued to clean around the house.

And the kids eventually went back outside. This time with heavier backpacks and water bottles.

Our kids are so cool. So wildernessey.  I thought.  I bet they would get out alive if this show was for kids.

My kids rock.

They are mature and street smart beyond their years.

So as i continued to clean in each room i would look out the window and see them and say "hello" as they went around the house gathering this and that.

So cool.

What a great day.

They randomly would stop and wait for new directions from "the boss". Bear.

And then off they would go again....

So fun.

All was perfect in the land of the Boones.

Laundry was getting done.  Camper was getting--well, as fixed as you want to call it. The kids were playing  there was no harm, no foul to be seen.

My kids were imagining surviving the mountainous terrain of New Zealand.

That is, until a little birdie, who answers to the name of Junior, came inside to ask me for something and happened to mention that-oh yea,  "Ruby was cracking eggs in the woods!"


Say what?

Ruby is what now?

I stood up and walked to the door, threw on my flips and off i went....looking for that Ruby.

I stopped a the camper to ask Jeromy if he knew about this, "Do you know Ruby is cracking eggs--in the woods!!"

"well, just one." he answers.

"Oh, only one? Did you tell her that was okay? Did she ask you?"

"Umm, nope. She didn't ask me."

(blink. blink.)

Oh, okay--so you're not really sure about any of this, not super concerned and are just saying you think it would be one egg, if she were in fact cracking eggs--IN THE WOODS? Oh boy--you can just go back to hammering stuff, man.

Off  I go to the back woods calling for the girls.

No answer.

No answer.

Finally i hear them in the side field playing.


Like they hadn't just cracked our FOOD, in the dirt!!

"Ruby"  i say calmly. Cause that is my nature. Soft and calm.

"Did you crack an egg out here?"


"Where did you put it?" I ask.

"In the compost like you always do, Mom."

"The egg is in the compost? Or just the shell?" i say.

"The shell. Just the shells."

"Shells--plural" i say.

"How many eggs did you crack, Ruby?"

(shoulder shrug) "I dunno"

"YOU DON'T KNOW!!.......well where did you crack these mysteriously uncountable eggs?!"

"In here" she says, handing me a bottle from her back pack.

(blink. blink.)


"Well, maybe next time don't crack eggs--our food that we raise, grow and eat--in a bottle. Okay?!

I walked to the house. Took a picture of the "egg bottle" and cursed the day i ever let them watch 'Get out alive with Bear Grylls'.

(insert fist to sky)

 Darn you, Bear and all your wilderness and adventure awesomeness......DARN you!!!

But its still a good day.

The wind is blowing.

The coffee is waiting.

And the kids are a crackin' the heck out of our eggs!

All for the love of "getting out alive!"