Today i was on the treadmill and i got to thinking about my Mom.
Her life has been a hard life.
She married a mean man at a young age. And suffered for it.
She lost her parents too early. And mourned it.
She dealt with difficult kids. And grew from it.
You see, my Mom is the strongest human being that i know. She loves fiercely. She is convicted of the truth and fights for it. No matter the cost.
She is a loving sister, auntie, friend, wife, mother and grandma.
Everything that she touches is with love. A purpose.
She has been thrown under the bus many times by those who she loves. And yet she continues loving them.
She has taken falls for us--from us.
There is an inner strength in her that i have never encountered. She is truly a light to this world. With such valid thoughts, opinions, concerns and care.
I remember at a young age, when she was dealing with the boys and their rebellious years, thinking that no matter what, i am going to protect her my whole life.
I remember being very young and understanding that her first husband certainly didn't protect her, her boys seemed to run wild, and she had lost her Dad, her shining star. But i remember consciously thinking, no matter what happens in life, i'm going to defend her, protect her and stand up for her. Right or wrong. I wouldn't let her down.
Now as i have grown older i have become a bit opinionated and mouthier and we have argued, faced indifference, and knocked heads, and sometimes i was mad. And i regret even the very moment that i didn't stand by her. Understand where she was coming from and allow her to just be her. Let her love how she loves with out feeling i needed to give my two cents.
I talk to my Mom every day. I try to see her as much as possible and i appreciate, love and thank God for her every day.
I often think of how i would feel if i didn't have them. Would my life go on?
It certainly would be a deep, deep void. With out my Moms voice in it.
I would miss her witty humor, her wise answers, her loving arms, her kind spirit, and her smile.
I am so thankful that i have her today. There are so many people (my own family included) that choose to hold grudges. Keep a tally of rights and wrongs.
And that really bothers me. I just don't see it and I can't understand it.
You miss out on life when you choose to strong arm the ones you love. We need to forgive, to embrace and to enjoy every beautiful second that we are blessed with.
I don't ever want to live with regret. Especially when it comes to family.
There's just about nothing any of them could do that would make me turn my back on them forever. (but boy oh boy--has it gotten close)
Because in the end, that would hurt me the most.
I know there are so many dynamics and so many wrongs that are suffered in each family. Believe me, i know--i've felt 'em too.
But what is life with out your family?
Not just your cocoon of kids. But our Moms and Dads. Our siblings. Our cousins. Our Aunts and Uncles. Nieces and nephews. Our grandparents.
Whether we see them every week or once a year. Embrace those moments.
Because they are passing right before our very eyes.
My Mom is on my mind this morning as i think of all that she does to make life a better place. All that she gives. And how hard she tries, just to leave this life brighter and better than the day before.
Now, if ya got a beef with my Mom and you don't agree with what i am saying....then you got a beef with me. And let me just tell you, together we are a pretty mighty combination. I wouldn't mess with that. :)
I'd take bullet for my mom. physical or verbal. (amiright?)
So many people say, "well, if they needed me, of course i'd be there." And that bugs me. If they needed you? Like if they were going to get hit by a car, you would push them out of the way?
Well, Yea--i'd probably do that for a stranger. That's not that spectacular.
Whats spectacular is being there every day. Putting in your time. Trudging through the rough parts of life and not giving up. Its about fighting for a cause, but loving in the same breath. Its about protecting. Its about putting someone else first and not thinking about yourself. Its about never giving up. Its about sticking together, even when you feel like falling apart. Its about the love of a family--dysfunctional or not.
Cause we've all got dysfunction. Right? And behind all the fighting is hurt, and if we could--only for a brief second--try to understand that pain and the life someone else has lived and give them grace, wouldn't this whole world--especially the family unit--be a better place? A safer place to lay your head? A place that was uplifting and encouraging and filled with love?
The answer is yes.
Here's the bottom line. My Mom is the best.
I'd give up my life for hers. I'll fight for her. I will protect her. I will laugh with her.(Oh, the laughter--its heaven sent) I will understand her. I will see through her eyes. I will extend grace. I won't live a day with out her in it. I will always return to her. Cause God gave us something real special when he gave us a mother.
And i, for one, don't want to waste a moment of time without mine.
There is strength, power, love, kindness, laughter, encouragement, care, concern, fiery protection, understanding, righteousness, and faithfulness in her eyes. And i'm so darn glad she calls me daughter!
I love you Momma.
1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."