There has been a few days where i have just felt overwhelmed--to the max. Like maybe if i was on the corner of the roof i might just jump off--on purpose. Ya feel me? Its been difficult.
(disclaimer to the last statement: I say that alot....so don't overreact or panic. Its just how i describe things. Remember, 90% joking at all times....)
The other day, after a few days of constant "ugh" in life, i went out to my garden. Which, helloooo, i should have known this would happen--but for some reason i forgot.
Instantly as i entered my little garden and walked around (i had to replant a few cucumbers that didn't seem to take root) i fell good. Just good. So good. Very good. Good.
With my feet in the earth, my crop growing (even if barely) and the birds and the bugs and the wind and the sun. It was all glorious. And it lifted my spirits as i wondered around in there.
So on my way in, i saw that my rhubarb had really grown while we were away in Pipestone and i decided--for the first time--to harvest it. So i yanked on the stems and pulled them out of the ground and away from the plant and walked back to the house with a arm full of beautiful rhubarb. And it made all things bad in life--go away.
For me, when i am outside--all is well. And sometimes i forget that. When the sun is shining (don't get hung up on the post that i said i like the gloomy days (they take away household pressure)-i also LOVE the sunny ones) i just feel right. When i can be on the lawnmower mowing the lawn and looking at all the gifts that God has blessed us with. Including 2 acres of land filled with half grass, half who knows what and a tiny sprinkle of sandburs.....all is well.
(okay so this is a picture of Jeromy on the mower and no grass...its all I have, okay!? But you get the point. I mean its not like i take picture of myself mowing the lawn........yet)
After driving through the cities over the last few days (yuck-o) i am always so very happy to head north again. I literally loathe the city and the busy living down there. You couldn't pay me to live South. Honestly. My friend (Shy) and i joke that she doesn't ever want to live North of 694 and i say i would never, ever want to live South of it :) (we're fun like that)
I didn't even know i loved the North so much until I moved up here. It just seems so much slower.(maybe meth filled, i'm not sure) but i like it.( not the meth...the pace)
I think it stems from a childhood of going up to Mora. Its still one of my favorite places to drive. Its like the further North i go--the more at ease i feel.
So as i was inside, cutting up my rhubarb and roasting my freshly butchered--by us--chicken and making a batch of homemade chicken broth (compliments of our many chicken bones) i couldn't help but be happy.
And--no joke--as i was on cloud nine and convincing myself how wonderful life is and how much better the blessings are than the problems, Ruby comes in and says she needs a carton for the eggs, and i give her one, and then she comes back in the house with our beautiful eggs. Its like at that very moment--i felt God high fiving me--saying 'you are going to make it. I am here and i am taking care of you. There may be bad, but there is always good.'
So the last day or so, as i have been working and keeping watch on the outside, i had my camera with me. To remind myself of all that is good.
And ya know what I found?? That once you start looking for it--really seeking out the good--its really, really easy to find.
After i was done mowing yesterday this is what i came around the house to find. Jeromy was home! And his little admirer had found him :) I love those guys.
(Fear not, Mom-- i was watching them --they couldn't get it moving, or pinch themselves or fall off of it or any other dramatic and harmful scene, I promise)
So this morning i went to let my chickens out of the coop for the day and the kids came out with me. And i found more joy.
And then Jesse, our little Rhode Island Red you see here--the same one who invaded my car vacuuming a year back and the same little nosy chicken that is always underfoot--just hoping you will drop a treat for her--was in the garage, sneaking around, laying in the sunflower seed bag. Silly chicken--trix are for kids....oh, wait--never mind.(but it did feel like that was the direction i was going in--didn't it?)
Then the kids got on their bikes are got busy racing and running all over the yard. I always love that my kids would still rather be outside than in. There is so much goodness that comes from being in nature.
Like one with the forest.
Peace love and harmony
Earth wind and fire.
Sometimes i feel a bit Pocahontas like--mainly just when i am talking to Grandmother Willow in the back yard. Right?
I guess that's really only funny if you know the movie Pocahontas as well as i do?
I'm John Smith............I'm Pocahontas........(insert music here)
No, nothing? Still not picking up what i'm laying down?
Back to other lovely things....
Here are the kids--bright and early--checking on the garden with me and setting up some tags that have blown over.
Its clearly not my best crop yet....but it'll get there. I know it.
Mmmmm, tomatoes. (as you can see we are really picky about the super cool pajamas we wear...to bed or outside. You don't know --this could just be a three day outfit--but what an outfit it is, right?! ;)
This is my own reminder to focus on the good. And not to let the bad drag me down. Because there really is alot of good out there, even in times of darkness. If we seek it, i believe God will show it to us.
And a little joy can lift a spirit in ways almost nothing else can. Life is hard. So go mow the grass, be present in today, go outside with the kids, buy chickens (i highly recommend that one) plant a garden and just take a load off, sister! Because you deserve it. Your family deserves it.
Because that to-do list.........it'll still be there tomorrow. And you don't want to miss the moments. Those indescribable moments we miss when our head is down and we are just getting by it in life.
At this very moment we could be missing a gift.......because we're too busy doing stuff.
(So basically what i 'm saying here is--i'm never going to do the laundry, clean the dishes, or pay a bill for the rest of my life...ya know, cause i just don't want to miss a thing....)
Nooooo, i joke.
Turn the computer off and live.......