Thursday, September 19, 2013

Pounding cabbage

Today i went to my Moms house to help her make sauerkraut.  I have never helped before. I mean, I've been there when she made it with my Grandma years and years ago....but i never really "helped" like i had planned today.

I brought my camera. Ready to photograph the process--and the fun!

We ran to Waldochs to get one more cabbage (cause we generally like to start off our time together in the car...or with a cup of coffee ;) )

We grabbed our cabbage and we were on our way to making kraut. And i was excited.

We got the big ol pot thingy and hauled it upstairs and washed it out.

Then we washed off all the other tools and the cabbage that we were going to be using.

This is the mandolin type thing, that just sends shivers down my spine after one too many accidents with those kid of tools and knifes.

I think i have a problem.

Says my left ring finger tip that was once laying in my chopped onions....Ugh.....shivers.

So here is the deadly weapon and the cabbage (pre- washing) and the plunger/beater thing that my Grandpa Will made for my mom. Super special.

Then she washed the cabbages.  Just after she kindly asked me "Not to take any pictures of her and put them on the Internet. Please." 

She's just so beautiful and fun, its hard NOT to.

Next, we (i mean she--i was more of the picture taker and she was more of the worker at this point) sliced the cabbages into quarters to fit the death trap of a finger snatching machine.  

Then we headed downstairs to start slicing the cabbage and getting to smashing it.

Here is the set up we had. Two chairs and the deadly weapon over the sauerkraut pot thingy.

It seemed ideal at first. Until we started to chop the cabbage and found it not conducive to our hard work.

(plus the blades on the thing were about as sharp as a feather, so...needless to say, we were putting in alot of elbow grease to slice it.)

We rearranged it. 

And then i tried to help. This next one is a shot of me "helping". I think Mom really appreciated that. :)

That's my hand. The masculine one with the sweatshirt and athletic watch.

After we sliced quite a few of the quartered cabbage, we took a break to throw some salt in and to pound the heck out of it.

Mom, beautifully adding salt.  She's super cool like that.  Just throwin it in there--no bigs. She's a pro!

 Now, let the pounding of the cabbage commence!!!  It really looks easy in this photo. But don't be fooled by Mom's trickery.  It ain't for the faint of heart...or triceps for that matter!

Up, down....up, down.....up, down......up, down......up, down....(repeat 9,803 times)

Then it was my turn to do some slicing.  (i think she just felt bad for me and let me try)

Don't be deceived by the weirdly-constipated-like-face i am making. Its not a joke. That was a hard job--slicing cabbage with a blade as sharp as a feather and NOT cutting off a finger! Yeesh. YOU try it.

(yes, i understand it doesn't make sense to say the blade was dangerous AND not sharp. It was quite the predicament. I am equally as confused as you.)

  (go ahead, make an audible grunt--i think it just makes the picture make more sense)

So here's the cabbage after a bit of pounding.

And then we got back to slicing a bit.   I sliced like a champ, in hopes of impressing my Mom and letting her watch instead of always having to do the work. Anything to make her love me more.

But let me tell ya--that sweatshirt was quickly shed and my hair went up into a pony--cause, sister--it ain't easy slicing this stuff and pounding gracefully. You just got to get all up in it. 

 So slice i did...

But then.....more pounding. Up, down. Up, down. Up, down. Up, down.... Yeesh. This was feeling a bit redundant.  And did i mention my triceps?  MY TRICEPS ARE BURNING!!

Have i mentioned you do alot of cabbage smacking to make sauerkraut?  Cause ya do.

Go Mom, its your're gonna pound cabbage like its your birthday!!....

(thats my impressions of 50 cent singing---on the prairie.)

  Okay, now i am feelin'it.  But take a quick photo, Mom, i'll act tired out. (or constipated--i can't quite figure out That face. I think i have to work on my expressions in the mirror tonight)

754 hours later, we have pounded the cabbage to its intended "done-ness" and salted and tasted it and its is glorious and ready to sit and ferment. (well, after Mom puts three more cabbages into it--i had to go get Junior from school)

Alas we have chopped it all and have all 20 fingers intact.

  Night night, sweet cabbage.  Soon you will transform into delicious sauerkraut. 

Das ist gut, ya?? 

See ya in a month....

Now, can anyone find my right arm?? Cause i can't feel it at ALL!

(PS: i'm sorry i said "pounding cabbage" so much--i just couldn't think of a better way to describe it. )

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