I realized how big my kids are getting--and it made me sad.
Junior came out of his room today, as the sun was shining in through my window, and i watched, as he crossed the hall to the bathroom and i waited, for him to come to my bed.
And that's when i realized it, that i can't remember the last time my guy came into my room in the morning to snuggle. He had done it for 4 years and slowly, it became less and less, and then suddenly i realized that it has stopped.
So as i waited there for him to peek his head into my room i felt lonesome. I miss my guy.
Just as i had hoped, he peeked his head around the door just to check if i was in there and i gave him the wave. The -get your cute little behind in here and snuggle me- wave. And he came running over.
I threw back the covers and made a spot for him next to me and we instinctively took our positions. As close as we could get, i laid on my side and he threw his legs over mine and set his cheek next to my cheek and his hand quickly found my neck and we just laid there.
Not monkeying around.
Just both content and looking up at the ceiling.
The sun shone beautifully through the window as i heard the rooster crow from outside.
Its a good feeling to feel full. And that is how i felt. Full of love. And thankfulness for my kids.
I realized that after 8 years of being what my brother called a "raccoon family" --because we were always piled up together and always touching or rocking or snuggling or sitting on top of each other--that my littlest raccoon was finally getting big. Moving out--slowly--from the nest, and the protection of my warm embrace.
And its like at that very moment, i felt the tide change. A moment in life was passing and a new one was arriving.
Toddlerhood was lost. Soon my boy would be in school and everything would be new.
Oh how i don't love change.
So this morning as i snuggled the cuttest butt in the history of the world and as we practiced counting by giving each other 100 kisses, i was painfully aware of time. And the moments that are lost each day. And how i want to squeeze my babies and keep them little forever.