Today i was listening to my new favorite song, which got me thinking about what i liked about it (which is obvious) which got me thinking about movies, which got me thinking about people, which got me thinking about what I liked in people--and this is what i have concluded.
As i look at the movies i like, and i try to link them--whether they are dramas, comedies, action filled, or even cartoons.
The main theme that i cling to in moves is the same concept that i cling to--or admire-in real life.
It usually boils down to one thing.
I think about Lone Survivor and the unity that "brothers" who are in the services--especially the trenches of war--face and what binds them stronger than others. One time i asked Jeromy if we--as a married couple-- were as strong as the bond of soldiers.....i don't think he responded now that i think about it?
And if not, then why?
I think about our families--both his and mine--and i actually see a lack of loyalty. There is loyalty for "their own" but not for all. And i guess to each their own.
But i am of the opinion that if you were to say "Hey, you KNOW i'd be there if you needed me. Or if it was a life and death situation". My response would have to be this, "Then don't bother."
Honestly, cause if you are of the opinion that you, "would be there if someone needed you" but you aren't there on a daily basis, or aren't "in the trenches", then to me--you just plain aren't there.
If i have to beg to love you and ask to be involved and to love you and yours....
Well, it just gets old, i guess. Not that it means we should stop--its just gets frustrating.
Families, friends, we should stick together, shouldn't we???
I think of a conversation I had with my brother when talking about Lone Survivor as we tried to dissect the movie and the characters and as i--like always--try to link them to real life people that i know.
We brought our points to the table and talked and questioned, and dissected. And it was so great.
I love conversations like that.
So much depth, so many layers, so many unknowns...
After i proclaimed that Jeromy was a "task oriented" person, that word has stuck in my head.
If anyone has seen the movie, 'The Town' then you would understand what i am about to talk about.
In that movie there is a character--a little shady --but loyal to his "family". The friends he grew up with, who he would literally put his life on the line for. Jeremy Renner is that character and there is one scene where Ben Afflecks character walks into his apartment, (clearly upset) and say (in his Boston accent) " I need your help. I can't tell you what it is. You can never ask me about it after. And we're going to hurt some people." To which Renner responds, after a moments pause, " Who's car are we gonna take?"
That might not quite have the same effect on paper as it does in the movie--or heck--in my mind. But it says something about that guy. No matter what he's done in life. If his friend asks him, he's in.
And that jumps out at me. And my brother and i agree--that is Jeromy. In real life. I wouldn't say he is the loyalest of people, he tends to think i can fend for myself--which i usually can. But just say jump--and like a bulldog off his chain--stuffs gonna happen.
We've had this conversation and he has named names of the people--all in my family--that he would just get up and help. And then he said a few other names--of people still in my family--that he would first ask, " is it legal"?" Before he jumped up--but regardless, he'd probably go.;)
Now that's not to say he is a criminal. Its to say he is task oriented and gets jobs done. And there are people in his life--that he would do anything for. And i love that. Now, if "we" are fixing the furnace together and i am sitting behind him and literally asking 27 questions about what hes doing--like a toddler--and he only hesitates for a second, just to turn around and look at me--with annoyance--to say "Seriously?!?!" well, thats a different story! :)--That's when his "task oriented self" makes me loco.
But that's to say that there are so many different qualities in a person and you see specific ones come out in times of need. I've seen friends stand up for me, when it really had no effect on them--but they were loyal and they saw someone being "attacked" and they stepped in. It has literally blown me away. You know who you are. To those people, i am indebted. Like, I'm saying, "who's car are we gonnna take?" (with my Boston accent) Ya feel me?
And you know what else, i've seen people throw me under the bus. Or stay silent when i needed them. And that is equally as shocking. But i'm not focusing on that--i'm just movin' on.
I got a bit off track on the movie stuff, but its to show the beauty in a person. Don't ya think?
What are the traits that you admire in life? Do you even know? Have you thought about it? What do you want to be to others? Do you even know?
Cause you should. Its interesting.
I suppose, when you don't have something, you long for it more. But it does make you stronger, and sometimes spurs you on to build that--whether in life, in friendships, in relationships.
The buggars of life can break us--or they can strengthen us.
Yes, we've all come from somewhere and we all have a past and there something to that--but its not all that we are. I don't like to see people with "poor me" histories act like they are broken. I like to see someone who is literally broken but still stands. Still fights. And doesn't lament about his woes.
I love to see people cry about being spanked as a kid, or about being left out, or not being accepted--and then i love to think of my husband. Who was basically broken as a child--and yet he stands. Silently. Strong. Faithfully. Hes not jaded because of it--he's better. Because he choose to be.
Its part of who he is. But it doesn't define him. Ya know?
It just goes to show that we can be more--but sometimes we choose not to.
You know what other movie i love??? Ice Age.
Yea, i know. Weird angle. I choose it on purpose to point out the extreme shifts and forms "loyalty" can take, but in the end--whether cartoon or true story--it all boils down to the same thing. I realized in that show that they were a herd, no matter if it was a mammoth, a saber tooth and a sloth. I may not have made sense to others, but they didn't go unless they were all together. Because "A herd stick together". No matter the problem. And no matter the faults.
I can think of a handful of my people who would jump if i asked. And you know what? The names would surprise you. They surprise me. They're people that don't have to. But do.
I guess i don't really have a point to this other than to talk.
I love to talk. To categorize, to put thoughts into words. And to acknowledge some foundational things in me--that i might have overlooked if i didn't spend time thinking about it. Asking the questions.
What is your "one thing" your foundation that you want in a person. What you love. What you do. Who you stand for. If you stand for it. Do you? Would you? Are you? Why?
Come on, don't be silent. Stand for something. Anything. Don't just live quietly and for nothing. Put your stake in the ground and live.
This is the new song that my brother played for me and its changing my world......i love it. The words are quite possibly the most phenomenal lines i've ever heard.
Have a beautiful day, my friends!