The house that built me.

Today i went over to my parents around 8:30.  Jeromy is helping a friend with their garage door so, when in doubt-I head to my parents house:)

I got there and went inside where they were finishing up their pancake breakfast gathered around the table. My brother was their with his son and my kids were eating too.

As we sat at the table (which we always do). My mom got me a cup of delicious coffee and offered me some food.  We sat and talked about the night before and i told her about what i had done and she told me about what they had done.  I talked about a movie i had seen and thought they should see it too. Nothing too important, and yet so very perfect.

My Mom was leaving to get her hair cut and i was going to round up the kids since we had been chatting for about an hour and a half and i had work to get done at home. 

But after she left i had told my Dad about a table i was determined to construct by myself and drew out my ideas of what i was thinking.  Then he drew his ideas of how it could be better and we talked and constructed it in or heads.  I had mentioned that i just didn't have the tools since Jeromy keeps them all in his work truck and whenever i want to do the work, he is gone. 

My Dad headed downstairs as i started to clean up the dishes.  I filled the sink and loaded the dishwasher and just killed time.  I never like leaving my parents house because it is just so perfect there.  I love it.  I try to drink in every memory that i make there and remember the sounds and the laughter and the fun that we always have.

Well, wouldn't you know that my super hero Dad had gotten some of his older tools together and was trying to make a few changes so they would be easier for me to handle.  I went downstairs to his office and sat with him as he tried to change out a trigger for the saws all that he was giving me. 

A few minutes turned in to a half an hour and a few ideas turned into action.  Together in the garage we (he) envisioned the best way to make the base of this table and tried to prepare me for it, but in the end just thought we should do it together (more like he did it).  We walked down the hill on the old wooden steps to the back garage where he had some wood for me to choose from.  There was a fantastic bird chirping over head that i was trying to find as we gingerly walked across the ice that had formed on a few wet spots on the path. 

That's when it hit me. This house. This man. That woman. Those are the people who shaped me and made me who i am today. They are the reason that i feel joy. If there is anything good in me, it is because of them.   I feel like a part of my heart will always remain at that house.

 After we pulled out the 2 x 4 and measured the posts we headed back to the garage to get to work. I commented on the bird and we looked and found a beautiful red headed woodpecker pecking away at the trees.  Its like pretend at that house.  Like even the birds know they are at a magical place.

As i stood in the garage watching my Dad work, i was amazed at how talented he was. Not that i didn't already know it, but i love to watch him work.  He is the smartest and most wonderful Dad a girl could ask for.  He told me his plans and i tried to help as we constructed this base for my table.  Whenever i had the job of just holding a board while he found a new bit or switched saws i just looked around that garage and smiled.  My parents do things right. They work hard. The do for others. They give. They care. They conserve. And they love.  That garage makes me happy.  Seeing the many different tools hanging was so fun. There are endless things to discover at their house. 

Back to holding the wood.  I tried my best to help my Dad., make him proud. Like i had as a kid when he would cut all our hair and the boys would wiggle so much and get into trouble. I would sit as still as possible, just to make them happy with me. I always hoped he would notice. Just like in that garage. I held that wood as sturdy as i could and tried to jump at his commands. (as if i knew what i was doing)

My parents are perfect. Every child has different memories of their childhood and i have said it before and i will say it again.  I had the perfect childhood.  My parents just worked.  My Dad was the perfect man, like my Mother was the perfect woman.

It sure is hard to measure up to, but wonderful to treasure.  Nothing will match the sound of a beater mixing cream in the kitchen or the sound of a skill saw sawing wood in the garage. Those sounds make my heart sing. They make me happy.  They remind me of my childhood.  And they remind me of the overwhelming love that i have for my parents.

So, as you can imagine, even if i screw that table up and make it looks terrible...I'm gonna keep it and treasure it-because i built it with my Dad.

One of my favorite memories that took place at their house....MY WEDDING!!

Another favorite memory-Fishing with my Dad

Definite top 5 favorite things-Shooting clay pigeons in the back yard.

We don't practice for no reason-The best deer hunting story ever told!

 And another favorite-Time spent together at the house. (notice where that deer ended up!)

Can't forget Grandma and Grandpa on Halloween.

These memories are priceless. My parents are priceless. This is the house that built me...and is now building my kids.

come inside.

Today Ruby stayed home from school. Yesterday she got off the bus, started to cry as she walked up the driveway and managed to throw up on my brand new rug in the entry way!  My poor girl was sick. But she was in good spirits after the puke.  Last night Junior woke up as i was watching the last show for the night and he had such a terrible cough/croup that it concerned me and i went straight to his room and snuggled in bed with him.  After about an hour of wiggling and wheezing my brain went to an ugly place and i became worried about the amount of oxygen he was getting.  I asked if he wanted some water and turned on the bathroom light and got him a sip. He thought he was going to throw up, but i think it was just the lack of breathing that made him feel that way.

Instead of bringing him back into his little twin bed for us to sleep i snuck him into our room as Jeromy got up to go to the bathroom.  I snuggled in (on Jeromy's side) holding my little man and praying.  We didn't know what we should do but didn't want to go to the doctor if it was unnecessary. So i moved to my little corner and snuggled my guy while Jeromy climbed back into bed.  At about 2:36am, I finally couldn't take the wiggling and discomfort that Junior was showing and i scooped him up and brought him back to this bed. I figured he would want rest and might be best in his bed. Without me.  I decided if i heard one cough that i would go in there and sleep on the floor, just in case.

But i woke up this morning and Ruby seemed better and Junior was still sleeping.  Like normal Ruby and Laney started fighting right off the bate. Nothing like waking up to that to start me tired day off beautifully.

I managed (barely and late) to get the kids in the car and headed off to Laney's school.  After getting gas (thanks the Lord) i got Laney there and Ruby and June and i were off to do a few things that needed to be done.  She felt sick the whole time.  Or she said she did.  Until she saw a McDonalds sign at 10:18 and asked for a burger and fries! Ha, like thats gonna happen. 

We picked Laney up and headed home and the girls were already fighting.  Again.  I do not get that.  Do not.

At home i had to separate them at one point and threatened if they kept fighting that i would split them up for the rest of the day.  Well, they made up so they could watch a movie together.

Around 3:00 the door bell rang and it was my little 6th grade neighbor. He asked if he could come play at our house. I told him it probably wouldn't work since the kids weren't feeling well and had skipped school. (well, one of them skipped)  He said okay and asked to use my phone.  I heard him call his mom and tell her that we had sick kids and then he was talking really hushed and i overheard (listened) as he said he couldn't find the key and that no one else would let him come over. 

My heart broke, i felt so bad. I told him that i just wanted him to "know we had a sick house, but if he wanted to stay, then he could". He said that was okay and continued talking to his mom. I moved out of his sight so i didn't make him feel uncomfortable.   Then as i sat there, Ruby looked over at me and whispered "I don't feel that sick anymore, please just let him stay here!"  

My little girl was feeling empathy for another soul.  Even at the age of 6 she knew what was right and felt it in her heart.  I chimed up again to tell him that he was more than welcome to just hang out here and play until  his Mom got there.  He hung up the phone and said that his mom said to stay here. 

I felt relieved and heartbroken as he told me that he had gone to his friends house and asked to play and the friend wanted to play with a different kid. Then he walked all the way back to his house and across to our other neighbor and asked if he could stay there. They had a bowling thing to get to.  So he went to another house and asked and then back to use the phone to call his mom. She said to come here.  And he did.  I couldn't believe that he was just out there walking around in the cold with no place to go.  I know it sounds dramatic, but this beautiful little miracle of a child needed a place to get warm and almost couldn't find it. In my neighborhood. My state. Our country. 

I keep thinking what he would have done if he hadn't come here.  I suppose someone would have welcomed him in, but it made me so sad to think that he was out there wandering in the frigid Minnesota weather. No gloves or hat, just a hooded sweatshirt..

Laney couldn't welcome him downstairs to play, fast enough.  I wrangled up some food and found a reason to clean the downstairs living room as we chatted and hung out.

Among all the fighting that goes on between the girls here, i feel so proud that they showed love today.  It may seem like a small thing. And i know they are loving. But above all else, i want my kids to reach out, especially to someone who is hurting or with no place to go. 

I am proud of the love i saw today.  So proud...

My prayer is that my kids grow up to love God and others...before themselves.

Matthew 25: 40 "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

Its as easy as saying "yes" to a simple need.

Be still

I guess i wouldn't have even been able to put my finger on it...until yesterday.  My friend sent me this great link to a blog that basically talked about choosing to be Radical in our walk with Christ. But not that we could only be radical through greatness but that we could also be radical in our homes and with the mundane... Sometimes its radical to just be at home doing the laundry and spending time washing dishes and scrubbing toilets.  When we set out to do everything and answer every call that we think God is sending directly to us, we aren't always right and could stand in the way of letting someone else step up and shine for God.

That paragraph totally just dumbed down that awesome blog that i read, but that's my way of filling you in with out having to retype all of it.  The just of it.

Now, obviously if you know me, busyness and taking on every challenge that comes my way is totally not me.  I am content at home and love being here with the kids and think its very important and way too overlooked and not valued in this "busy, busy, gotta look important world."

In fact, i think people automatically make assumptions about the ones who don't over involve themselves. They label them "unqualified" or "weak".  Its something that i have really been made aware of lately.  But ya know what, its obviously not true.  I think it takes more in a person to say no than to just keep saying yes.  (now i am getting off topic, that is completely another blog)

What i am feeling and didn't even know it until it was awakened inside of me yesterday is...well...i can't even put a word to it.  I felt spoken to yesterday when i read that blog.  I realized that i am very content at home in my quiet time and in the word. I try hard to do it daily and i rely on and enjoy that time of refreshment and prayer.  I am the content Mom who is at home doing the dirty work. (okay, i am not always content doing it. But i am home, where i think this season of my life, i belong)

I guess i don't really even know what i mean to say here.  I feel so many things and i can't put any of them to words.  I have been pondering a very huge thing that God has placed on my heart and it is wearing me out. I am mentally fatigued and tired of thinking about it. Debating what is right. Wondering. Thinking. Talking. Worrying. Fearing.  Man, the fear.  I can feel it sneaking in again.  Whenever i face a new decision i guess and second guess and third guess and tenth guess my decision. I wavier back and forth.  My biggest dilemma is the question i ask myself, is this in God's will and His prompting, or my own?  And the buggar is, i have trouble deciphering the answer.  I usually believe that if it goes right, its God's will and if it fails...it was mine.

What i am so aware of (especially in this fast paced world) is the command to "Be still and know that i am God."    It sounds so easy, but i honestly believe that being still is not an easy thing for many Americans.  I know for myself, that i can be still. That part isn't too hard to accomplish, but to quiet my mind and truly ask God to make me sensitive to His spirit. That is where i want to be.  I need to be.  I can't make these decisions when my brain is running. Always running.  Though my body is physically still and i am quiet, my brain is forever going.

Joshua 3:5 calls us to "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you."  If we don't allow time to consecrate (sanctify) ourselves in him. Then how can we expect Him to do amazing things with and among us?

We can't keep overbooking ourselves and overlooking life. When we go, go, go, we miss so much of life. We have time to check facebook every day, but do we find time to spend in His word?

This is just what I ponder and want to remind myself today.  Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time for everything.  Maybe now, is our time of consecration and peace?  So that tomorrow we can do great things.

I guess i believe that we can't have one with out the other.  So today, i will present my requests to God and try to be intentional about my willingness to sanctify myself in Him. 

Quiet my mind and be still, because i know that He is God.