Lets go out tonight?

It started out like any other night, I met Angie at Target and we headed to Maple Grove for a little dinner, a little Trader Joes and a little Home Goods.

As we drove we talked and talked and talked and i noticed--as my seat warmer warmed my back to an uncomfortable temperature--that her Yukon runs so smooth. "Purs" i think i said.

It really is a nice vehicle.

Upon arriving at PF Changs, we were seated in a cozy little booth near the back. We ordered our lettuce wraps to split and caroozed the menu.

Should we split something? Are we going to each order and share? We didn't know and the possibilities were endless.

I spotted the dinner "for two" option on the back and we happily agreed on that. After asking the waitress her favorites, we decided to get a steak something and a chicken something else.

Just after i finished ordering, Angie handed the menus to the waitress and smilied and said "Its Date night!"

(blink....blink...)

I immediately panicked and felt like clarifying, to avoid being mistaken for real "girl friends"  (like we usually feel anyways)

But, instead, my need to right it died as quickly as it had arrived.

I raised my eyebrows, nodded and slowly smiled back at her....

It was weird--i'm not gonna lie. Ya see--Ang and i always joke that we really put out "the vibe" when we are together. I can't explain it, but trust me--its there.

Maybe its our love for softball, flannel and all things Indigo Girls--i don't know.

After dinner we got to talking about the recent Pink concert with out waitress.  I mentioned how talented she was and how her acrobatics were unmatched and the waitress said "and her body is amazing!" To which Angie responded that Pink was actually in a movie she had just seen and then went on to add (and i quote) "But we didn't get to see her body!" Which was supposed to piggyback on the waitresses comment about Pinks beauty.....

...But really we all just felt weird--again!

Seriously?  Angie--COME ON, you're killing me here!!

We grabbed our dessert to go and decided (after being swayed by Angie's husbands text) to just go home and hang there and visit and have some dessert together.

We would quickly run to Trader Joes and then head home--for some quality time. (our favorite)

We went into Trader Joes and came out approximately 6 minutes later and when Angie put the key in her ignition and turned it....?

A click...and then death.

There was nothing.

We were freezing.

And there was nothing.

We looked at each other for a moment--in shock.

And there was nothing.

And then she tried aggressively for 5 minutes to get the car started.

Finally we gave up and i asked her where her jumper cables were?

To which she replied "I don't have any."

To which i blew a gasket and layed into her husband for leaving us stranded....This is Minnesota, after all.

Land of freezing weather, and dead batteries.

I felt the need to solve the problem (cause i'm a good girlfriend like that. Doy.) and said we should hold the available parking spot next to our car and see if we can get a jump from someone.

all the while--its way below zero out....

....and Angie choose to wear a VEST for her coat.

I just started repeating that "We need a man. We just need a man and all this will be better."

So i asked the "cart guy" who was already outside and seemed like a helpful guy, if he had jumper cables, And he immediately(oddly fast, in fact) shook his head, "No".

To which i had a new found annoyance with people who DON'T help two girls running through the parking lot FREEZING their faces off.

In the store an employee offered to get the "Mall security".

Seriously.

We were waiting on Paul Blart to save us.(Mall Cop reference)

Angie and i waited out in the empty spot next to the vehicle, only after i gave the cart guy a very aggressive frown as we walked past, for good measure.

And as we wait for the "mall cop", over strolls the "cart guy" to ask us if we are using this cart (i had taken it to ensure no one parked next to us)

Umm, yea. (we're annoyed)

But then we notice his strong, strong Russian accent.

To which I immediately feel we need him on our side and not against us. (You know, due to the accent.) So we kindly promise to put it back when we are finished with it.

And i smile.

After frost bite officially sets in and no mall cop arrives we decide to run back into Trader Joes to wait and warm up.

And wouldn't ya know, just as we get in we see scary Russian cart guy go straight to that darn cart to coral it back where it belongs with all the other carts.

Ugh. This guy.

I though it would be funny to nickname him "Ivan" but Angie wanted to call him "Vlad". And you know how girlfriends can be? Sooo bossy. So i lost and we called him Vladamir.

Just as Vlad got the cart, Mall cop showed up and when that person got out of the car--i kid you not--i didn't know if it was a girl or boy. Man or woman.

Come ON!

So i don't know what to even call him....Her..... Pal.....buddy.

So obviously i just compliment Mall Cop's nice Mag lite flashlight.

Works ever time.

As mall cop, man woman, is trying to jump the car (but not looking too capable) i whisper to Angie to "take a picture."

She shakes her head.

 "Come on. Quick before he notices"

To which she wouldn't.

Come onnnnn, it'll be funny, Just do it quick.

Finally i convinced her to snap one and then she quickly hide her phone.

That us!!......and Paul Blart in the background.  See? Totally funny. Totally worth it.

We're funny!

Alright, now Mall cop isn't doing well, its like 378 degrees below zero, and i'm having a conversation with Vladamir all while threatening Angie's life and this very friendship!!!

Mall cop sees Vlad talking to me (which he is--but he's complaining about mall cop) and mall cop gets all defensive and starts yelling out her, his, car that he, she, knows HOW TO DO THIS, Okay!?  To which Vlad responds "You don't need rev engine. Battery to battery is enough.!!" Paul Blart is not happy.

It got weird.

Clearly if theres a fight about to happen-- i'm taking the Russians side.

Duh.

Vlad confides in me that he "doesn't know if this is man or girl, but they don't do it right." " (in a super cool and slightly frightening accent)

And i breath a sigh of relief that someone else is as confused about this mall cop thing as i am. Right?

Thank you, Vlad.

After, what feels like full blown frost bite sets in, we decide to give up with mall cop and thank her and go back inside to warm up.

Our toes are literally in fierce pain at this point and our mouths have completely stopped working.

As we, Angie, Vlad, over informative wine clerk and Matt G, all stand by the door--we assess the situation.

We talk about the cold--and i predict its 14 below--though Vlad highly disagrees. "Only 4 below." he quips.

That Vlad--he's so like that.

Angie googles it. -14 on the dot.

"Eat that, Vlad!" I say---but only in my head. Cause i'm still unsure of our relationship--or of his connection to the Russian mofia.

We discuss the gender of the cop and no one seems to know, although Angie insisted it was a female.

I don't know. But i do know this--that Paul Blart didn't know anything about jumpers.

Ugh, didn't i just say we needed a man to help us!?! (where was big strong Jeromy when i needed him!?)

Waaaaa!

Matt G decides to give it a whirl. We complain some more inside and then head out to the ferocious cold to try again.

After about 15 more minutes, he can't get the thing to turn over either.

We give up.

I silently wonder if  maybe Mall cop really did know what she was doing?

Go inside and discuss our options.

Our option is....We need Josh. (Angie's husband)

We can't get it working and its been almost an hour and our friendship and very lives are on the line here!!!

She called him and gave him the green light to come and get us.

Trader Joes tells us they are now closing, but that Whole Foods is open until 10.

Thank you--loud and clear--we're outta here.

Guh, so we run--broken, frozen, frost bite and all--through the parking lot to the other store.

(remember Angie is wearing a vest and i have my fancy lady coat on tonight--not my super cool, hip and trendy Polaris one--thought it would have made the girlfriend scenario so much better, right?)

Once inside we roam the isles, complaining of our hurting toes and need for sugar. And laughing a bit.

Cause if ya can't laugh--what can ya do?

Alas, we land in the gelato section

Yumm-O.

We go into a fit of story telling as we share all of our nights tales with the poor gelato girl and i get excited and my pace increases to about 789 words per minute....

...the gelato girl sampled all her gelato with us. And then pointed us to the freezer where there are gelato filled cookies sandwiched together in one glorious mess of deliciousness.

Of course i settle on that.

Angie gets a "teeny tiny" 2 baby scoop bowl and we sit down to thaw out....


.....while eating the gelato.

We talk about how weird it is that i just happened to comment on the life of her car, debate if our toes are frozen or burning, look at our funny mall cop photo, decide if our friendship is going to last, and eat gelato.

It was magical.

Josh arrives with his Dad and we go over to the Yukon.

They have tools, jumpers and everything with them.

About 3.8 seconds after opening the hood, they move a wire and start the vehicle.

My jaw drops.

It was a connection problem.

(silence)

"Did they just start it?"

After Angie nodded i went into a full blown rage about how no one even really helps people out and how any real man would have looked a little further. Jeromy never would have let two girls freeze out here while fending for themselves, without trying to figure out the problem. Vladamir, you tricked me with your delightfully scary accent and face mask, and Matty G you were nothing but a tween-who forgot his long johns today-with no knowledge of cars.

Ugh.

What is this world coming to when a man can't help a woman with a car problem?

I was spent.

And cold.

And we were on our way to my van--in the Target parking lot--that has had  NO HEAT all winter--and i wasn't looking forward to it.

As i got into my car--i blew Angie a kiss (cause thats what girlfriends do, thats why!)--and headed back up to East Bethel.

Reminiscing on the nights events. (With teeth chattering, and body convulsing.)

And as i drove i watched as my thermometer read.... -14


-17


-20


-22


-24

As i reached my garage the temp was -24 out. My Mom was right, when i told her of our nights problems and she responded, "You live, you learn...so don't go out on cold nights."

Genius.

And as i came home at 10:30 i shut off the chicken light, brought my food inside, got the dog water and found that even though i had bought my gelato filled cookie 45 minutes ago--it was still completely frozen.

And so was i.

Good night, my friends and Dasvidaniya!!

these days are long.

So this has been like the coldest, longest, darkest week of my life!!

And you would think that with all this cold-and lack of getting into my car to drive to a beautiful coffee drivethru-that i would be more productive since i am in the house 578 hours a day, right?

Ummm, wrong. Very wrong. Now i find that i just wander from room to room--like a princess locked in her castle--waiting for someone to come and save me.

But they don't.

So i continue to step over clothes that are on my floor, while moaning to myself, "Theres just nothing to doooooo..." Like a teeny tiny baby who has no discipline.  I swear, maybe i was meant to be born into Paris Hilton's family? Then i could be all "That's hot...." As i walk around the house in my heels and gown, waiting from someone to put on my makeup and feed me. Who knows....i could dig that.

Yes. I have a problem.

 I'm not saying i don't. OKAY!?

Nothing seems to thrill me and i've been pretty much venomous to all that I have come into contact with this past week.

Even my parents. I was all, "Dad, you just don't even GET it!"  "Mom, stop telling me to do my laundry!!

They just looked at me--confused--and likely a bit annoyed.

"But i didn't care!! "(picture me throwing myself onto a faint couch with my hand to my forehead while i say this)

"I DON'T CARE!!!!" (I also like to picture my robe a light satin pink and my hair abnormally bouncy, as i just took out my rollers)

wait, where was I?

Oh yes--I was even kinda annoying myself--and that only made me madder.

(Insert faint couch and full on dramatics)

(and a robe--my new attire)

I've officially gone over to the dark side. The dark, cold, crabby, annoying side.

And i guess its Minnesota's fault.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not a complainer about things like weather. I mean, hello, we're not in California here--its gonna be cold. Its what we signed up for when we moved (or were born here--without a choice) here.

In fact--wouldntcha know--it annoys me when people complain. Cause i'm all, move to another state then!!  (snap, snap, snap)

Cause this is Minnesota and its cold.

But alas, i am starting to feel the squeeze--or maybe its the lack of sunlight?

I don't know. But these days are looooooong, sister. I mean, like, i feel cuckoo, long.

This weeks Christmas break combined with no good redbox movies on top of only reruns on the TV??

Ummm, I'm lucky i'm still able to manage the upright position at this point, people!!!

Waaaaaa....

Someone help me.

No don't. It'll only bother me.

I want it to go away--i do. I really do. But i can't quite seem to detach this feeling from my innermost being.

So, to help you really get a clear picture in your head of how its going over here, let me tell you about what my days have pretty much consisted of lately. I get up.Put on my robe.(but you already knew that) Make tea as i walk downstairs to check the internet. You know, to see what really important things i missed. Find out i missed nothing and now am offended by someones post. Head upstairs to set up MarioKart for the kids. Play words with friends. Ignore all housework.  Wander aimlessly to the laundry room. Curse the laundry. Break up a Mario Kart fight. Aimlessly head to the bedroom to "clean" (who am i kidding). Turn on the radio. Pretend to fold clothes. Head to the kitchen and wonder why no one has even called me yet. Feel sorry for myself. Wish i had a cake to eat. Back to the room. Look at the mess. Curse the mess. Look at the phone again. Curse the phone and its earshattering silence.. Think about that cake again. Break up another Mario fight--yell like a crazy person, to which the kids don't even acknowledge i'm alive. Head downstairs. Check the net. Play words with friends with my Mom.Call my Mom, complain, hear her tell me that i should just do the laundry and be happy for it, audibly gag a little, hangup.Wander aimlessly through the house--all while wishing someone (preferable Jason Statham)would break me free from this PRISON THAT I LIVE IN!!! (fall on my self made faint bed in my robe with my hand to my head) Sun sets. Its 3:30. Await bedtime....and possible death from boredom. Then get up and do it all over again tomorrow.

I know it sounds glamorous, doesn't it.

 I suppose you have been really productive this break, huh?

Oh, haaaave you. Well, aren't you just better than the rest of us!

I'm being real here, friends. And i hope you can accept that.

Cause if you can't--then i dare you to say it to my face.

I'm sorry.

Its not you, its me.

Its just--been--really, really dark and cold and boring for a while here.

And that's all i have to say about that.

But at least its supposed to be warm and sunny on Monday and all the kids will be at school and it will be glorious and peaceful and i will finally be uber productive and smiling.

Whats that you say?

Oh, really.

The governor did what now?

Well, shoot--WHERES MY FAINT BED!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye 2013

Its coooooming-- I can feel it in the air. (Heck, i can feel it in my tight waistband)

NEW YEARS EVE!!!

And you know what that means? Time to take a few moments to think about the old and ring in the new!

I think the year 2013 at our house can best be best described in a few lyrics by the one and only Miley "not so Disney anymore" Cyrus.

Ehhhem,

"2013 Came in like a wreeeeecking baaaaaaalllllllll....."

Okay, as i look back over the year I have continued to love Jimmy Fallon--though I don't love the enormous amount of success he has reached--because now eveyones jumping on the Jimmy train and I liked it better when it was more intimate, you know--just me a Jimmy and a few other night owls. But for him--i suppose i am glad.

If i had to pick a surprise movie that had me at the edge of my seat it would be "Prisoners". It definitely was hard to watch at times and very "real" and i enjoyed it alot. Although about 5 minutes into the movie Jeromy looked over at me (after the child had been kidnapped) and said " I do NOT  like this show." And i agreed.  But it had been recommended to us and i was hooked. And then about 3/4 into the show I looked over at Jeromy and said, "If this is the end of the movie then this is the worst show i have EVER SEEN!!!!"  But alas, i enjoyed the stress of it and came away with a sore jaw and a headache.  So for me--two thumbs up!! I like movies that make me think. And this didn't disappoint. (reminder--i said its hard to watch--especially as a parent)

Also, i have come to the conclusion that if i was a producer/director i would like to keep a few actors in my back pocket--kind of like Scorsese does with DiCaprio. I find Casey Affleck mesmerizing. I love his face, his high raspy-ish voice, his light accent and just about everything else about him. If he's in it--i'm watching it. I also love the kid who plays the brother "Roderick" from the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. He is hilarious. And Jake Gyllenhal. Those are my guys. Talent. Not just blockbuster guys--but real actors actors. Indy films that mean something, say something, make you feel something. (okay, maybe not the Wimpy kid actor, but the other two. Him i just really like.)

If i could describe the perfect night, it would be about 10 pm. No one else would be up.  Me in my jams in front of the TV awaiting an intense drama to start. Heaven. That is what i enjoy.

I find that sometimes when i am out with my friends---i wonder what's on tv.

 Although if i'm with a really good friend--we probably already have the TV on!

This year when Sam and I were leaving Trader Joes, i hit the button to open my back hatch on the van and it automatically opened (and it was snowing super hard) and as i walked towards it, i forgot that my hatch doesn't stay open in the cold weather and just as i got to the back of the van...SMACK!!!  The hatch fell down--cracking me straight on top my head--crushing my teeth together. It hurt like a sucker punch--i never even saw it coming.

In the van a few minutes later Sam asked me how i was feeling?  To which i responded, with crossed eyes, that  "I didn't remember his name." (Cause i'm fun like that, ya know.) And he said he felt so bad that that happened that he had a stomachache--and then he said "My twin pain is kicking in--now MY head hurts too...."

(Because i always tell Sam we are like twins, he gets hurt and i feel it.)  So that moment.  When his" twin pain" kicked in--reminded me that he is literally one of greatest people on this earth! :)

I have continued to embrace drama on tv. Though i have faced a bit in real life.  Like always--i like comedy in real life and drama in movies. Not the other way around.

If i were ranking my friends husbands (which i don't....or do i?), Josh Weinzetl would sit at number one. I have spent more time than i care to admit watching movies with them on their couch (maybe even snuggling their dog--you don't know) and there has even been a time when Angie broke into full on snore--which only confused me--but didn't even make me consider leaving before the show was over.  Like hellooo--i'm dedicated!! So, here's to more late night movies watching in 2014, Weinzetls!! :)

If i was to rank my friends husbands (which i don't?)--here is the one i would rank the worst---....

Gotcha!....Are you kidding me? That's a secret, sister!  But he's out there--and i know who he is--i assure you!

I think i have become a bit of a foodie. If its not good--i just don't want to eat it. It may sound lame, but its true. I'm over burgers i want classy food and i want it now.

I have come to realize i am a bit jaded this year. Seeing people for who they pretend to be in public versus who i have seen them to be behind closed doors?? It has confused and jaded me.

My heart broke when i heard of  Paul Walkers death. Its still hard just seeing pictures of him.

I realized that this past year when i turned 32, i have officially known my husband half of my life!! I met him when i was only 16?!? Crazy!

Speaking of husbands, Jeromy got me a robe and slippers and snowpants for Christmas (which i love) and when i looked at the size he choose, i realized that he got me a medium snowpants and an extra, EXTRA large robe....which made me wonder if he even knew they created tags and sizes for things, but then as i thought more about it--i deduced that he got me a medium for something that goes around my child bearing hips and an XXL for something that wraps around my sternum...err, i mean bust.....and that is A-okay with me!!! :)

I love baths, books, and long walks on the beach. Minus the long walks on the beach.

As i go into 2014 i would have to say my favorite songs are Say something by A great big world. And Avicii's Hey Brother.

The movie that left me dumbfounded, a little confused and feeling a bit crazy was a movie that i-unfortunately-anticipated greatly.  It was called "Out of the furnace." But darn it if Casey Affleck was the big draw. At least i didn't talk Jeromy into going to it for HIS birthday....nope, wait, that's exactly what i did...lo siento.

Again this past year i have evaluated friendships and really thought about what i want in a friendship and what i have and i have concluded that you can't beat an "old" friendship. Because you just "can't make old friends."  That light bulb actually went off after a bad night with friends and a song that came across the radio by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers.(i had never heard it before) It is truer than anything i have ever known. I believe it, i live it and i am thankful for it. Always. And you all know who you are!! My old friends. My people.

If i could do life over again,. i think i would want to be on top.  Not for the fame of it, but to be able to evoke emotion through film. By directing, producing, writing, or acting. Anything. I would just love to be part of that creative process. To have that power--it would be exhilarating to create the kind of things that i love-and to share them with others.

I continue to love television and movies--obviously--and i stand by it.  So don't even start it with me if you disagree.

I enjoyed making sauerkraut this year with my Mom. Its a special memory that i have.

I got to see the Pink concert from the FRONT ROW, with my beautiful and wonderful friend, Jenny. And it is a memory that i think about--and smile about--almost daily! Thank you.

I made ricotta cheese (well, watched the process) using the fresh goat milk that we just collected, at a friends house and its something that i think about--alot.

I experienced lice for the first time this year.  Not cool.

I believe that piracy actually IS a victimless crime. There i said it. What?  (disclaimer: I actually don't know how to and never have done it-just to clarify in case the government is reading this.)  Its just that that think that comes across the screen before movies is so annoying.

Best new television series? Easily, The Blacklist. Its so great. James Spader? Yes, please.I can hardly wait for the season to start up again.

I realized that i really do like my dog. After he was sick and i though he was dying.

I literally got mad at Jeromy once when we were talking about what we would do if we won the lottery and he wanted a brand new truck. Brand new?!? "Ummm, that's a waste--isn't a 2013 truck equally as good and more sensible?" Yea--that's what i thought.  (lets just say that the rest of the car ride was a quite one. Ha!)

Which leads me to the fact that Jeromy pointed out that when i argue with him i sometimes talk like "The girl you wish you never started a conversation with at a party" from SNL. So now if we are ever in an argument he sometimes starts to laugh---which makes me smile because i know he's hearing "her".  Ha. Its kinda funny and it can really diffuse an argument quickly. So now i really play it up. This isn't the clip i wanted to show but I couldn't get the other one to copy for some reason. But i think you get the my drift. Right? She's a hoot. I randomly throw out "Pick a hand, Seth." when Jeromy and i are talking.

I have found who i am, a bit, more this year. By knowing what i will stand for and what i don't. By what i will tolerate and what i won't.

I want to continue to grow.

Not physically though--please, Lord, not physically. Before long, i'll be ducking through doorways and splitting the seams of my pants. (my MEDIUM sized pants, dontchaknow)

I've been burned this year.

I've realized that parenting is getting harder and harder. And its not something to take lightly.

I've adopted a "who cares" attitude about things i can't change. (mostly)

Our kids make Jeromy and I laugh on a daily basis and we thoroughly enjoy them and all their crazy antics.

I've realized that there is no one i would rather watch a movie with then Jeromy Boone. On our couch, alone, at home. Because after 10 years of marriage--we just get each other and its so natural to be together. I told him just last night that marriage is hard because but you just kinda gotta "do it" ya know?  You actually become like one another after a while. Whether you intended to or not.  And i think that's a good thing. Or at least i hope so, cause that is what we have done. We are "one" now. One-big-weird-person-that-plays -too-much-Tetris-and-watches-alot-of-nighttime-television :)

Now, if i am dissecting a movie or talking about it--Then there is no one that i would rather do that with then my brother. Sam and i can go layer upon layer into a show and talk deeper than anyone--and really get it.

My big accomplishment of 2013 is getting him to watch the movie "Warrior". It has UFC fighting in it and Sam loathes fighting movies, but the last 30 minutes has more emotion, more depth, more layers, and more unspoken revelations that just about any other show i have ever seen. So i pushed and pushed for him to watch it so we could "Please just talk about it!!" And it did take ALOT of hounding to finally get him to sit down and watch the whole show. But alas when he finally gave in, he "got it" and now he advocates for it as well.  Yes!!

I also feel like this year, if i had to get into a fist fight with a particular person? I might just welcome it. ;) But that's all i have to say about that.

So as 2013 comes to a close and i think about the past year--i can say its been quite the ride.

What started out as the worst year of our life has now--thankfully-- almost come to a close and we can truly say we are seeing the silver lining. And for that--we are very thankful.

We won't go into 2014 with loose ends and headaches. Its up hill from here. We can almost taste it.

My resolutions are many.

But this year, i m not sharing them. 'Cause they are important to me and not something i am going to shout from the roof tops.  They are mine. And they are going to be private.

Another thing i am learning....some things are to remain off limits.

Don't be a grouch about the New Year. Don't brush it off and say resolutions are just another thing we "fail at." (i'm talking to you, Alamo)

Make them. Fail. It doesn't matter.

Think about last year. Ask yourselves questions. Evaluate. Talk. If nothing else, get a conversation going. You might just be surprised where it takes you.

Plan, be better, do more, think, read, explore, love, learn, take time for others, reach for the stars, dream big, think outside the box, don't count yourself out, fail, but then get up and keep trying and keep thinking--because this could be the year when it all happens!!!

So here's to a safe and happy and RESOLUTION filled 2014, friends!!!!

As my good friend Garrison Keillor always said "Be well, do good work, and keep in touch."