I'm grumpy

Let me tell you....

I love having chickens---but i LOATHE chicken poop....everywhere!!  Like, i was at a fancy place in St. Louis Park and i looked down and i had chicken POOP on my flip-flop...okay, it was on my heel too, if that's not enough to make you wanna call it quits on our friendship, i don't know what is?!

Lesson= if you have chickens. Be responsible and tip toe.

I love being able to stay at home and care for my children---but i LOATHE house work. Just in general. I am being completely honest. I hate it, like to the core of my being. Hate. And i don't even say hate--do you see how mad this has made me?!?  This is how i think of it-- Its like telling an artist that they have to play ball for the rest of their life.(i mean, right? Can you imagine?) Or an athlete that they have to paint, quietly, for a living. It just DOESN'T fit.  That is me. A big ol square, trying to fit into a circle.

Lesson=If your job is to take care of the house.....just do it. Get your butt in the cupboards and organize. I don't care if you can't see through the tears, JUST DO IT....  (that's totes on my agenda for tomorrow--tears likely included)


I love that i get to wear clothes (for many reasons, amiright?) but i don't love laundry. Or picking up. I feel like i am owed the ability to undress before i take a shower and that i can just leave the clothes where they fall.  WHY NOT?!?  I just don't get that i have to then pick it up,. hope i didn't get it wet, AND bring it back to its rightful place.....WHYYYYYYY, why do we have so much to do at home!?

Lesson= If ya take it off, pick it up.

I love baking.  Love it. I love the pouring, the measuring, the sifting, the mixing, the cracking of the egg (cause i love chickens, dontcha know) the greasing of the pan and the baking. All. Of. It.  But ya know what i DON'T love?  Trying to clean a muffin tin, or trying to get the cake out of the corners of a pan (after you've eaten it and neglected it for a few days, of course) scrapping off the cookie sheet or trying to get the peanut butter and chocolate goodness off the glass bowl....with your tongue! (right?)

Lesson= Just starve.

I love waking up and thinking about all the wonderful things that i am going to accomplish in a day.  But you know what i DON'T love??  Never even doing any of them.  Its like my body is programmed to get the same amount of stuff done in a day--no matter how. hard. i. try. (insert hand to fist...maybe a tear...nope, just fist)

Lesson== Set your goals low. Shoot for "just good enough". Aim small miss small.

Its good that my kids are learning at school. Right? But lawdy, the homework and the reading and the speed it is all done at. Its enough to make me stab my own eyeballs out.  Right? (i know Jen Hatmaker wrote it so beautifully at the end of the year....blah, blah. I don't love her)
But it is a fact, and it is hard. Or frustrating.

Lesson= Just ignore it and hope someone else will do it.

I love being really active with my kids and their school life. I love visiting them for lunch and chatting with the kids. I love seeing them play at recess. I love the politics that are at play (and i hate them at the same time--depending)  I love just gettin all in there. But what I don't love is that every year i run the half mile with Ruby and her PE class---but now that she's in 3rd grade, they upped it to a mile.(Waaa!) I know, i know, i can do it--but i just don't want to be all panting and sweating and needing of the water--and i especially don't love that Lydia beats me EVERY YEAR in front of the other kids and Mr. STUDnicka, alright?!? Its not my fave.

Lesson= Pretend you sprain your ankle half way through and walk at a fast-ish pace to show your "can do" spirit.

I love being clean. Or at least i kind of like it.  Its important. Especially when you wear organic deodorant, (or live with chickens, Guh) like i do. Yowza. You don't want to miss showering. Ya feel me?  But you know what i don't love? The process. Oh that process of showering. I hate it. Loathe it. If it were up to me, i might never even do it. If, of course that was acceptable and not gross and it wouldn't lead to bugs crawling on me and my husband giving me the cold shoulder. Seriously, otherwise, i would totally do it. Showerless for life??  Yes please.

Lesson= Wear Organic deodorant, it like totally works....for a couple minutes anyways.

Thank you for staying with me on this journey friends.  I'm sorry to say that I have absolutely zero point for this blog, except to complain.  So there ya go.

I think this just brought us closer, don't you?

Whats that? You need help with your laundry?  Ummm, i got a thing....i mean, I want to....but i gotta go shower, i have this big run coming up and then i have to reorganize my cupboards in alphabetical order while doing laundry so that i can manage my time wisely while i wait for my cake to be done. Okay? But any other time. I swear, i would help.

Seriously though, I gotta get dinner on the table while I anxiously await my friend to arrival, so that I have someone to talk (complain) to as we watch TV, paint our nails and laugh-- into the wee hours of the night.

Lesson= Get good friends. They make life tolerable!

TTYL

Another TV post

The Fall line up is coming....the fall line up is coming......the fall line up is coming.

I can feel it in the air. And it excites me. It thrills me. It makes me want night to get here so i can start watching.

You see, i love television.  And i know this is a taboo subject. But i'm talking about it anyway.

Its taboo cause too many of you are haters.  Yea, i just called you a hater. And i mean it.

And no body likes a hater, sister!

 I have a handful--that's overflowing--of friends that don't seem to have time or interest in tv.  They're a little above it--or so they passive aggressively think!

Let me explain why i love it so.....

I love comedy and drama just about more than i like anything. A good episode of 30 Rock or a dramatic Law &Order: SVU just does it for me.

And i'm not afraid to say it.  I know there are a few closet TV lovers out there as well. Ones that watch, but would never dare admit how addicted they are to American Idol or The Voice. And I'm here to say embrace it. Embrace your love for tv....it won't make you dumb, like everyone warns.

And the world isn't square and you won't sail off into the sunset only to fall off the planet---who knew.  I'll tell you who knew...the one who sailed!

This is my thought process as i vacuum today.  The Emmy's were on last night and it brought me great joy. To have all those actors in a room together honoring the talents and skill set of their peers and recognizing the power and the performance and depth of each others work--its so great to watch.

I know Hollywood is lame. I hate that they pay $60, 000 for a watch and i struggle getting my mortgage together every month. That's not what i am loving here--not the lifestyle or their idiotic views. But their craft.

Like, take Alec Baldwin--Can't stand the guy. Hes such a raging liberal and i disagree with just about everything he has ever said--but whenever i see him as "Jack Donaghy" from 30 Rock, i can't help but love him. I laugh. And i smile. And i don't hate him for our differences, i love him for his skill. He has perfected the craft and mastered comedy- by only having to use his eyes. He can speak volumes and bring contagious laughter with a tiny gesture.

How can you not love that?!

Here's the way i see it.  Television provides a break from real life. A moment of depth in a life that is lacking. Comedy can break its way through the most hurting of hearts. A day that feels overwhelming, suddenly seems tolerable. A situation that feels dire, can seem doable. All with the distraction--or inspiration-- of television.

Are you picking up what i'm laying down here? (i'm talking to you, TV haters)

My favorite thing i hear when i ask (which happens alot) "So whats your Monday night line up look like"  And my friend looks at me with a blank stare. And i continue with, "Did you SEE what Severide did last night? Can you believe it?"   or "Do you think Christina is going to be bald again this year, or will her hair grow back? And where did Hadey go?"

(That sentence, which just confused about 3/4 of you, might make sense to a person who watches Chicago Fire and Parenthood.)

Ahhhhh, now you are getting it.

My favorite response to that questions is "Ohh, i don't really have tiiiime for tv."

Oh, DON"T YOU?!  (say that in the most sugary and sarcastic voice that you can muster)

I think that answer is bull.  I mean, we all have time for facebook, right? And what is that fostering that's so important in you life again?  Laziness?  Ahh, yes. Thats what it does. Causes fights? Uhhh, check.  Makes you feel bad about yourself? Most definitely.  But no one criticizes that, cause its our link to the world and we all need to know what our friend down the road is cooking for dinner or how naughty their two year old is acting today, right?  (now this is not a facebook attack, cause i like that too. Only less than TV.)

I'm only saying, everyone has something that steals their time. So we do in fact, have time for tv, we just spend it elsewhere. Right?  Are you TV hatters getting hot under the collar yet?  I'm only trying to make you drink the koolaid and follow me....no bigs.  Don't ask questions, just do it.

I think there is so much hate in this world today. So many feelings, opinions, hurts, wrongs, and politics that get us all going--at each other--until we are all hate filled and mad. Our opinions are so free to spew on others, and so many of us use that power for bad, instead of good. We don't lift each other up, no way--we attack through our opinions.  I mean, don't get me started on the "Vote Yes or Vote No" that came through facebook a few months ago. I saw so many Christians be so unbelievably offensive and hateful, i was shocked.  I'm not saying i don't have my own feelings on it, i just don't want to spew my views too hatefully as to offend someone from the truth and love that Christ offers, right?  As we protected our sacred truths, we did damage in the process. At least in my opinions.  You can't take back words.  Its its hard to hold love in one hand and judgment in the other, right?

I digressed a bit, but what i am saying is, people seem to attach TV with stupidity. And i happen to think, if we wrote our controversial opinions on facebook a little less, and turned on the TV a little more, we might just crack a smile and forget how mad we intended on being. Suddenly that hate post seems less valid.

Maybe?

I'm not saying TV is the answer to all lifes problems.  But its pretty close ;)


I love TV. And some days i just want to shout it from the roof top.  And i know its weird. But if you know me, you know i am loyal. And that is to everything i love. And when people are hating on my thang, i have to interject.

Television will most certainly not make you dumb(and yes, i have read all your posts and articles about that) Its not just a waste of time. Its full of depth, its thought provoking, its uniting, its emotional, uplifting, its informative, its satisfying, its real, its fake, its dramatic, its moving, its hilarious!

It does more for the soul than laundry and dishes, i'll tell ya what!

Watching NPH open the Emmy's last night with a funny monologue that included a few of my favorite comedians (Conan, Jane Lynch, Jimmy Kimmel (he's only okay)) and my friend, Jimmy Fallon--its like everything was right in the world, for that bright moment when they all came together..  Throw in Amy Poehler and Tina Fey in the front row doing their shtick, comedy gold, my friends. I was in heaven. Laughing and smiling, as if they were my friends and i was in on it.

I had a day where i felt a little like my light was growing dull. Like the world didn't want to laugh and they were tired of my relentless pursuit of the good and the humorous and the positive.  And i felt kind of bad about it. Like maybe i should just be quiet and smile a bit less....have less fun in a situation and just settle down.

But alas, the Emmy's were on. And i was with my (wannabe) peers.  Standing when Bob Newhart was awarded his first Emmy and clapping when his friends all stood for him, making him tear up.  It was amazing. My cheeks hurt from smiling. From the joy i felt, for him. Like, yea, he deserves this. He has worked so hard and long at comedy and is so humble....Go, Bobby!!

Same reason i like to see a girl burn a guy in the outfield, i like to see a female hit comedic gold on stage! (and that exactly what Julia Louis Dreyfus did in her acceptance speech last night.)

Boom, girl power. All day. Every day. All night. Every night.

I have decided that if i could do life over, i would definitely work my tail off,  to get to audition for SNL. And that is crazy scary, and they are crazy talented, but what a dream. An opportunity. And i know, i've read Tina's book and Darryl Hammond, i know its maddness and i would likely just curl up into a ball and cry, but what a glorious mess it would be?!  You know what, maybe when my kids go off to college i may just do that...i'm gonna seriously consider it. I only have to change 1,983,000 things about myself and learn--alot.  But i just may try....

My mother and i disagreed about my thoughts today as i told her my opinions. She reminded me that people might not be "lame" just because they aren't watching TV at night. Maybe they are reading a book to become a better parent, or reading about how to help the world.  And i half disagreed. And by half, i mean wholeheartedly.

Yea, i guess they could do that. (snooze)

But they still talk like they are better than tv. And thats what irks me. Its creates this foundation of not only succeeding, but being a teeny, tiny bit better than others. Like you're going to make big changes in this world, but not by watching TV.

Wrong-o.

Tv can inspire people to be more, better, and persevere, i believe that 100%.

Insert my plea that the world watch 'War Horse' and NOT feel inspired.  I dare you. I double dare you.

Here's my point.....


.........


Oh, i don't know. I guess its that i am so excited to DVR 999 shows a night and watch them all into the wee hours of the nights. Never interrupting my time with my kids, or my hubby, or my quality house work and organization time.

The only person i am hurting is myself. And my lack of sleep.

But, come on, sleep??? I'll sleep when i'm dead!!

Just kidding, i literally hate that saying.

I'm gonna be watching TV when i'm dead, up in heaven with Jesus---and we're going to be laughing--and its going to be glorious!

So, here's to the fall lineup. Check your DVR's people, cause this weeks gonna blow our minds!!

Now, if you're offended by any of this clip, i'm sorry. I didn't write it--obviously--but i did laugh.  And ohhhhh, how i love to laugh!!

Lighten up world....Start seeing the funny, and stop being so offended. 

Pounding cabbage

Today i went to my Moms house to help her make sauerkraut.  I have never helped before. I mean, I've been there when she made it with my Grandma years and years ago....but i never really "helped" like i had planned today.

I brought my camera. Ready to photograph the process--and the fun!

We ran to Waldochs to get one more cabbage (cause we generally like to start off our time together in the car...or with a cup of coffee ;) )

We grabbed our cabbage and we were on our way to making kraut. And i was excited.

We got the big ol pot thingy and hauled it upstairs and washed it out.

Then we washed off all the other tools and the cabbage that we were going to be using.

This is the mandolin type thing, that just sends shivers down my spine after one too many accidents with those kid of tools and knifes.

I think i have a problem.

Says my left ring finger tip that was once laying in my chopped onions....Ugh.....shivers.

So here is the deadly weapon and the cabbage (pre- washing) and the plunger/beater thing that my Grandpa Will made for my mom. Super special.

Then she washed the cabbages.  Just after she kindly asked me "Not to take any pictures of her and put them on the Internet. Please." 

She's just so beautiful and fun, its hard NOT to.

Next, we (i mean she--i was more of the picture taker and she was more of the worker at this point) sliced the cabbages into quarters to fit the death trap of a finger snatching machine.  

Then we headed downstairs to start slicing the cabbage and getting to smashing it.

Here is the set up we had. Two chairs and the deadly weapon over the sauerkraut pot thingy.

It seemed ideal at first. Until we started to chop the cabbage and found it not conducive to our hard work.

(plus the blades on the thing were about as sharp as a feather, so...needless to say, we were putting in alot of elbow grease to slice it.)

We rearranged it. 

And then i tried to help. This next one is a shot of me "helping". I think Mom really appreciated that. :)

\

That's my hand. The masculine one with the sweatshirt and athletic watch.

After we sliced quite a few of the quartered cabbage, we took a break to throw some salt in and to pound the heck out of it.

Mom, beautifully adding salt.  She's super cool like that.  Just throwin it in there--no bigs. She's a pro!

 Now, let the pounding of the cabbage commence!!!  It really looks easy in this photo. But don't be fooled by Mom's trickery.  It ain't for the faint of heart...or triceps for that matter!

Up, down....up, down.....up, down......up, down......up, down....(repeat 9,803 times)

Then it was my turn to do some slicing.  (i think she just felt bad for me and let me try)

Don't be deceived by the weirdly-constipated-like-face i am making. Its not a joke. That was a hard job--slicing cabbage with a blade as sharp as a feather and NOT cutting off a finger! Yeesh. YOU try it.

(yes, i understand it doesn't make sense to say the blade was dangerous AND not sharp. It was quite the predicament. I am equally as confused as you.)

  (go ahead, make an audible grunt--i think it just makes the picture make more sense)

So here's the cabbage after a bit of pounding.

And then we got back to slicing a bit.   I sliced like a champ, in hopes of impressing my Mom and letting her watch instead of always having to do the work. Anything to make her love me more.

But let me tell ya--that sweatshirt was quickly shed and my hair went up into a pony--cause, sister--it ain't easy slicing this stuff and pounding gracefully. You just got to get all up in it. 

 So slice i did...

But then.....more pounding. Up, down. Up, down. Up, down. Up, down.... Yeesh. This was feeling a bit redundant.  And did i mention my triceps?  MY TRICEPS ARE BURNING!!

Have i mentioned you do alot of cabbage smacking to make sauerkraut?  Cause ya do.

Go Mom, its your birthday....you're gonna pound cabbage like its your birthday!!....

(thats my impressions of 50 cent singing---on the prairie.)

  Okay, now i am feelin'it.  But take a quick photo, Mom, i'll act tired out. (or constipated--i can't quite figure out That face. I think i have to work on my expressions in the mirror tonight)

754 hours later, we have pounded the cabbage to its intended "done-ness" and salted and tasted it and its is glorious and ready to sit and ferment. (well, after Mom puts three more cabbages into it--i had to go get Junior from school)

Alas we have chopped it all and have all 20 fingers intact.

  Night night, sweet cabbage.  Soon you will transform into delicious sauerkraut. 

Das ist gut, ya?? 

See ya in a month....

Now, can anyone find my right arm?? Cause i can't feel it at ALL!

(PS: i'm sorry i said "pounding cabbage" so much--i just couldn't think of a better way to describe it. )