I am Christina Boone, Ruby's Mom.

I just got finished with the most special day ever!! I have had a great day with my kids and i am just overwhelmed with total love and admiration for the little humans that they are. 

Ruby was the STAR of the day at school today. And that entailed my getting alot of stuff ready (and you all know how great i am at that...) So i ordered pictures to put on her STAR board and i set aside time for her to color it and arrange the pics with me, i thought about the book that we were going to read aloud to the class (a little nervous, i gotta say) and filled out the form about why Ruby was a star to us.   I was actually a little concerned about it last night and anticipated it like it was my first day of school. (even though i have been there with her before)

Like every day of her lolly gagging life, Ruby missed the bus. She is the slowest poke when it comes to getting ready.  About every 5 minutes she breaks from what she is doing in the morning (ya know, the important stuff like getting dressed and eating breakfast) and goes to find (and snuggle) with her kitty. I tell ya, not a morning goes by fluidly...always a little hectic rush.  But, hey, that's who we are.  Poky, unorganized snugglers.

I dropped Ruby off at school and hurried to get the little ones (one who is forever in his PJ's) to Walmart in time to get some groceries, deposit a check (thank you, Lord) and get home to get my makeup on before Ruby's 11:10 lunch hour.

Like the Christina way, we managed to get it done quickly and got home with about 12 minutes to spare...

...which meant i had to mess with the chickens for about7 of those minutes....anyhow...

I threw on my makeup and some fancy earrings (Ruby always likes that) and headed with the kids to school to spend time with Ruby at lunch, then recess, and then her STAR book reading and commentary from yours truly.

I got to lunch a few minutes late with two little kids in tow and found Ruby.  My shining star, Ruby.  She was sitting at the table like a perfect angel surrounded by her friends and smiling and waving towards us.  My heart skipped a beat.  My baby girl had grown up. Right there before my eyes, she was a school girl now.  But even with the group of kids vying for her attention she got up and hugged us and showered all her beautiful and caring attention to her mom and siblings.  She is amazing.  That child is so kind that it blows me away . (Unless its in the middle of the night and her sister is trying to cuddle her...but thats rare.)

I ate lunch with the kids. I love those kids. They are each precious in their own special way. Of course i talked to Ruby's (and apparently Laney's) best friend, Samantha.  I have come to love that little angel like my own child. 

My Mom surprised us by showing up too.  She had come from a hair appointment and Ruby was over the moon. She didn't know Grandma would be here.  It was fantastic.

After lunch we went to recess where i watched Laney pretend she didn't know any of us and she clung to Samantha . That's going to be the one i have to reign in, I think. Oy. 

As i stood there talking to my Mom in the sunshine and watching my three amazingly perfect kids play, something happened.  My heart was soaring and breaking all at the same time.  This is a big deal, this school. And Ruby is perfect at it.  She is so content on her own, but people seem to love her. Its the perfect balance of wonderful.  I watched her go from the monkey bars to the swing, stopping to help her brother get his shoes on the right feet.  She came over and gave me and Grandma a hug randomly to assure us of her love.  And i felt so overwhelmed with pride in my child that i didn't know what to do.  She is growing up.  She's becoming this beautiful caring and loving and giving and generous little lady. All the fear and anxiety that i had watching Ruby in kindergarten melted away as i saw her fit so well into the groove of school.  School.  She is on her way to 12th grade and i want to stop her and freeze time just for a moment.  I want to hold her and never let go. I am so proud of her.  It wasn't nervousness anymore, she was having fun with her firends.  I couldn't ask for anything more.  My heart is full today.

As we got back into the classroom i read "Breaking out of the Bungle Bird," one of our favorite books.  Ruby sat on my lap and it was indescribable.  I got to read my little 5 lined page about why Ruby is a star to us and i ended it by telling the class that "my favorite thing about Ruby is that when she was born i became a Momma."  And honestly even though it was just me and 20 little souls, i had to hold it together. I could feel the lump rising in my throat and i had to swallow hard to finish. I felt so full of love when i talked about her and I meant every word that i said about her.  Sometimes saying all the things that you think about your baby aloud is harder than we imagine but such a powerful reminder of our intense love for them.

I love my Ruby girl, and i am so proud and honored to be her mother.  She truly gave me the greatest gift that i could ever receive.

I am Christina Boone, Ruby's Mom.

So long facebook

Well, its official...i de-activated my facebook account one week ago!  Its been refreshing and liberating.  And a little difficult.  The moment i cancelled my account, i felt great.  I say it so often "Facebook is raising a generation of losers."  Well, maybe not losers...but.....

My opinion of facebook is this.  I am a stay at home mom and its a fun break in the day to see what my friends are doing and to feel like i am connecting with other grown ups.  Just a peaceful break.  Ya, that was about the first week of facebook and then came a few snags. A couple offenses.  Too much spoken, or too much taken away.  People are being offended and offending ever day!  I know a few people who personally think facebook is there soapbox and if you post something they don't agree with, they think it is totally cool to attack.  But since it is a public forum, people see and hear and are affected by other peoples opinions. And the worst part about it is we got ourselves into this predicament!!  We can't complain because we are feeding into it.   Plus, some posts are just dumb. Am i right?  Come on, i don't care to hear your whole days schedule EVERY day.  But to each their own. Thats the beauty and ugliness about facebook. We can all do and say what we feel like doing.  Its "our" page or "our"opinion. 

If ya talk to anyone, i don't care who, they will tell you that they have had  a bad experience or a friend loss or a fractured relationship because of facebook.  Its sad.  Its life.  The era of technology. I want it now and i'm gonna get it.

I didn't have any specific bad thing happen to me (this time) that prompted me to delete my account.  I just think, here i sit saying over and over my fear for the next generation because of facebook and texting and cell phones and DS and Wii.  There is no more face to face conversations happening.  No more phone calls. We text because we just have one piece of info to share and heaven forbid we ever take a moment to chit chat with a friend or family member.  I mean, when the last time you've asked or heard someone ask "How's your day going?"  Its not as frequent as it used to or should be.  Of course it still does happen. I have beautifully kind friends and we talk intimately and in depth. I love it.  I have a super great group of people in my life.  But i also have a super not great group of people in my life too.  Thats life, huh?

If i boast of my dislike for facebook and my intentions to keep my kids away from technology forever (or close to that) what does it say about me that i come downstairs and quick (it never ends up quick) log onto facebook.  And don't even get me offended or my day will be wasted with my kids. I'll be so conscious in my frustration in my head that i'll miss the present with my actual, palpable, right in front of me, kids. My beautiful loving and wanting babies. They just want time and i am not going to waste one minute of it thinking about anything other than what they are telling me.  NO conversations are going to slip into my head. NO great comebacks. No great fact to prove someone wrong.  Just love. Relationships are what matter the most. 

But with that said, i also have so many dear friends on facbook that i only keep in contact with that way. I have developed great relationships, rekindled friendships and laughed at some of my amazing facebook friends.  So, i miss them.  I do miss it.  I'm not saying i won't be back.  I just won't yet.

We made it though life perfectly fine 15 years ago with out facebook and i am determined to remind my self of how to do that.  And my kids, i can't be a hypocrite. So i guess i have to stay off here for awhile.  Plus, you wouldn't believe all the deep cleaning and housework that I've gotten done since i haven't taken any "facebook breaks" that interrupted my groove in the laundry room.

So, to all 5 of you who will read this.  There ya go.  I am happy with my choice and i am determined to stick it out.  I miss reading all of your posts, but i'll find you...don't you worry about that:)

cock-a-doodle-what?

Just when i think the tides-a-changin i find myself knee deep in another sleepless night!  As most of my friends know, i am a rocker. Not just to music (the cool way) but also with my babies.  I am an advocate of it and love snuggling so much.  I mean, i better,  i have been doing it for SIX YEARS NOW!  :)

When Ruby was a baby i would rock her to the smooth sounds of Neil Diamond's Essentials while i stood. Then it was Laney's turn with a rocker and Juniors turn (when i got smart) with a recliner. (Remember Jeromy's offer to help if we "just got a better chair?" )  So after 6 years of rocking someone, i thought i was done with the middle of the night rocks.  It has been about a month or so since someone has woken up in the middle of the night screaming my name, fighting, coughing, or crying and i was kind of loving it. Sleep, this beautiful thing that i have never known.

But last night, as Jeromy headed off to church i rocked my sweet angel, Junior, to sleep as he coughed a little. I knew what was in store for me last night. I felt it . Call it rockers instincts :)  About a half hour after i got him to bed and the girls were settled in their bed. Laney was sawing logs and Ruby (who has proclaimed herself "not a sleeper")  was laying in bed, but only waiting for a reason to come out.  Junior started coughing and coughing and coughing....i knew it was only time before he called out for me.  Ugh, and Law and order was just about to start!  Wouldn't ya know, at about 8:30 he was coughing so hard that it turned into gagging (typical dramatic boy) and then crying out for him Momma.  I went in there and hoped to rock him back to sleep with ease...hoped.  He was coughing so hard that it wasn't working. Just as i though he might finally slip back into sleep filled bliss...i hear this huge scratching sound!! June startled and i saw the shadow of those two dumb cats in his room(they snuck in behind me)...trying to get into a closed box!! Ugh. Those cats will be the death of me.  Junior started to cry/cough and i got up to see if i could give him a little something to make him feel better and brought him into the kitchen.  Well, even with the lights off he started to get a second wind. Suddenly that little cat nap was just enough to take the edge off and we could get this party started...(his thought, NOT mine)   Seeing he was in play mode, i sat in front of the TV and thought i will wait for Jeromy to get home and he can rock him and it will be great.  I asked J why he was awake? (With the quiet Momma voice) and he looked at me and said "Because you waked my up!  You carried me out here..."  Looking at me like i was the dummy who had forgotten.  Right, i woke you up.

                                    

Well Jeromy got home and we sat for a bit together and junior gave me the "its okay to watch big kid shows" speach so i put on some old Jimmy Fallon DVR. (hey if i was going to do this, at least i would do it with Jimmy by my side:)  Finally about 10 o'clock Jeromy rocked him to sleep and came back out to the living room, grabbed a blanket and layed down on the couch and fell right asleep.  I've gotta say, sometimes when my husband slips off into wonderland as i anxiously anticipate the length of night i am going to have, i kind of want to take a pillow and knock him over the head with it and say "could you just be as concerned about this cough as i am!!??"  But alas, i hear my Mothers voice in my head telling me that "he works so hard and he has to get up early every morning and go to work." (read that with dripping sympathy in your voice) 

Sooo, i double check all the windows, turn the lights down and watch SVU and try to enjoy as much "alone" time as possible. 

1:20 AM...Laney is next to me in bed. Coughing like a crazy person about 1 millimeter from my face.  After about 2minutes of that i lug my butt out of my disgusting marshmallow like bed and slide down to the end (cause i am next to the wall, and i can't wake the sleeping King)  I uncoordinatedly grab Laney and bring her back to her bed, where she tells me she has to go potty. So i bring her the the bathroom by the light of the moon and wait, then i pick her up and carry her back to her bed, where she tells me she needs her sippy cup of water that she dropped (and emptied). Okay.  So i am on the floor on my hands and knees looking all over as silently as possible in hopes not to wake her any further or i knew she would be up all night.  I eventually had to turn on the stinkin bathroom light and still can't find it!! I tip toe into the kitchen and fill another cup for her and deliver it and sneak back to my room.
 
If you know anything about my house, its that no one wakes up just once. About 20 minutes later Laney wakes up howling for me and that startles Jeromy (i know, crazy) and he's all confused (see, he's never been up in the middle of the night) and he says in a daze "who is it? what is it?"  Ugh. Immediately i am annoyed and say "its LANEY! She had a bad dream."  See, after 4 years of interpreting her cries, i know this is the bad dream one.  Jeromy goes in there and talks to her and comes back to bed.  That was fast, i think. I always get roped in to snuggling and prying them off me and then eventually getting mad while they cry and get their way.  So, this is good. She's going to sleep.  Well, about 10 minutes later the girls are fighting...FIGHTING, in the middle of the night because Laney is trying to snuggle up to Ruby and she is NOT having it, which then leads to a little yelling between them and Laney breaking into hysterics.  That's about the time my brain slips into the red zone and i start hearing the crazy sound for the movie Kill Bill. (if you don't know what it is, watch the movie...because i hear it alot)  Wweeeee, wuuuuu, weeeeee, wuuuuuu...

I scoot my big ol' butt down the bed (don't want to wake the King after all he did got up once and he is going to need a serious nap today to recooperate) Right about now, i forget its  2 o'clock in the morning and i quietly/aggressively whisper to Laney that she is fine and that Ruby needs to protect her because Uncle Sam used to take care of me when i was little and darn it, that's what family does!!!! (the volume increased with every word i spoke) For the next hour this seriously happened about 4 times.  They argue, big Momma goes in there and lays down the lay! ( and not the sweet i love you. let me rock you to sleep kind)

I stomp back to my room feeling like an angry crazy Momma.  I am so ticked that i can't sleep...and just when i finally fall into blissful slumber...Laney screams (the bad dream kind) and i get stomp in there just about trip on those darn cats, because they walk about an inch from my foot every step i take and that meowing...meowing...always meowing...(you or me cats, you or me)  When i fnially get to the bed, I just climb into it and grab Laney, snuggle her up and hope for just a moment of sleep, please.  I am laying like, sideways across the bed because one of those cats are at the foot of the bed and i don't want to disturb it (i KNOW, i don't know why either) so my feet are on Ruby's side and my face is an inch from Laney and i am so hot that i want to scream. But not just hot, its like the cover didn't even cover me all the way up, so my behind is sticking out (i know, shocker) and that is cold and my feet are under about 27 gazillion blankets  and they are on fire and i want to scream...

Ruby suddenly wakes up and thinks this is like, our special talk time and i can tell she is trying to be sweet and she keeps scooting to get her feet to touch mine and Laney is hacking her germs into my mouth and the cats and the blankets and the heat and the cold and the sleeping hubby and the.........i felt crazy.  I think ya get the drift.  The last time i remember seeing the clock was 4:55AM

I feel myself drift off. The temperature is comfortable. The kids are quiet. The cat is...who cares. And i am happy. About to sleep, and happy.  But whats that quiet noise that i hear in the back of my head?  It started like a muffle and keeps getting louder and louder?  COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOOOOOOO, COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOOO...

In my sleepy stuper i start to panic (in an unmoving way) i am confused and suprised that they can hear the rooster this loudly. Why is the room so loud with rooster...why? How can they hear him this loud? COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOOO...COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOOO...

When i finally find my bearings i realize that i am not even in the girls room at all, i am in my room, Jeromy has left for work and my window is open and Buzz is crowing right out side it...What the what?  What is this life i live? 

Its like i had three kids and though this is too easy, i am going to rock them individually, allow my husband to sleep at will, get a ton of chickens, get two annoying cats and own a dog...heck, lets just throw in a rooster for good measure.

Oy. That was my night.  It never gets old.  I even let the kids sleep in until 9:30 today.  Ruby was tardy to school, i was late for a play date but how could i wake these sleeping angels when they had so little sleep?  They will never kick this cold if they can't rest peacefully, right?  As i think about it, i wonder sometimes, who is running this ship? WHO. IS. RUNNING. THIS. SHIP?

I think it may just be the rooster...