Embrace a slower pace

This past weekend was such a fun one.  I had the pleasure of watching my niece and nephew show a pig at the Kanabec County fair in Mora.. It has been a tradition I've had for years and its one that i truly LOVE and look forward to every July.  We get up early and hit the road so we can get there by 8:00am for the judging.  Now when you're at the Fair this early there aren't any rides, or games, or fried food stands to distract you. Theres just a special group of people.  Fair people. (not to be confused with carnival people;)  Moms and Dads, farmers and more farmers.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but its like time stands still where i am there.  Its the most beautiful and healthy place to be.  As i sit there beaming at my beautiful niece as she struts her stuff and guides her pig, I think to myself, these are MY kind of people.  Now i know they may have fancy iphones in their pockets or might text when no one is looking, but i like to imagine that they don't.  These kids are up early and working hard.  My niece and nephew and sister work so hard to prepare for this even each year and i am just in awe of it. 

,m

People don't put as much emphasis on hard work as they used to (i like to think hard is synonymous with healthy). Especially for kids. In case any of you don't know, i am a HUGE advocate of 4-H because i like what it teaches kids. And that is a lost art.  Kids get their hands dirty in 4-H, they contribute as part of the community.  Community.  That word is so foreign to so many people.  We are all so busy in our own little lives with our own little agendas, that we forget about our neighbor.  We just don't have time to stop and help a friend anymore.

Every year at the 4th of July i get a little extra patriotic and start to re-evaluate life and our choices and our priorities.  In fact it was this year around that time that i started listening to country music again.  I know alot of people don't like it, but i think that the roots of our country are in that music.  I love hearing about hard work, strong love, loyalty, and community.  Its what i think we are losing as a nation.  I know its a big statement, but when did i ever say i didn't make those? :) 

I can feel life pulling me into the grips of "busy" this Summer and i refuse to give in to it.  I will not be that Mom who is defined by her schedule.  In fact, i want to be defined by my lack of schedule. That doesn't mean that we'll watch tv and lay around all day. It means that we busy our hands outside and learn about taking care of animals and a garden and our yard.  But i want to emphasize this...i want to take care of my things, but by no means do i love them.  They are, after all, still just things.  I want to teach my kids to work hard and do their best, but not let those things that they are caring about define them.  I have said it before and i will say it until i die, life is about relationships.  I believe that 110% and i will never think otherwise.  If we don't have strong roots in our faith, our families, our friendships or our communities and churches, then what do we have?

I want my kids to be faithful, obedient, servants. That's why i get so passionate around the 4th. Its a time spent with my family. Its about building relationships without any distractions.  Its about slowing down. For Pete's sake people, slow down. If we would just embrace a slower pace, we might build a lasting foundation that can withstand any storm.  That's what i want. I want roots that run deep.

So, I got animals.

I know many of you have heard bits and pieces about the little hobby farm that is starting at the Boone house. I also know that many of you have been giving me a hard time about it...(you know who you are;)

So, i thought i would share in our new little adventures.

In April I had decided that I wanted chickens.  My neighbor had some and we talked about it and i decided that was a great thing for us to have too.  Jeromy wasn't so much on board, so i didn't push it.  Every week i would mention it and Jeromy would always say he didn't want any. He never quite told me "No", but he definitely made it clear that this was something that I wanted, and not him :)  When Mothers Day rolled around i said i just wanted chicks for Mothers Day!  I was visiting at my parents and my brother, Tim had this great book about raising animals on a quarter acre, or something like that. Well, i had two acres, i could definitely do this, right?   He was on board and volunteered to build me a coop if I wanted one. (that in itself is amazing. Brother and sister on the same page?  It was a miracle! ;) 

Well, Mothers day came and went and I didn't get any chicks.  Which was fine, because even though i wanted them verbally, i was kind of mentally thinking...maybe, maybe not? 

Finally Jeromy had a day off of work and i said, lets just go and get some chicks. The kids had been excited and i was ready to do this. My wonderful neighbor game me her hamster cage to borrow and i felt set.  Off we went. Down the road and towards the Anoka/Ramsey area. 

Finally, chicks!  We got into the garden/farm center and took a big whiff of...stinky butt! Yuck.  Okay, i can do this, i can do this.  We looked at all the chicks running around in little bins and it was fun.  That was until Jeromy pulled me into another room where the chicks were a little bigger. And scary!  A bunch of the chicks were pecking at the hurt ones and feathers were gone and there was a rooster jumping from bin to bin cock-a-doodle-do'ing....Oh, boy!  That was it, after a few minutes of looking and attempting to act excited i said  "We're out of here. No way, no how am i gonna have one of those disgusting and scary things!"  Jeromy smiled on the inside, i just know it. And off we went. The kids were super crabby at me and that was fine. I felt traumatized by what I saw. Those poor chickens that were getting picked on, I just couldn't deal with that. Couldn't.

After getting told over and over again that the kids were "So mad at me!"  They seemed to get over it and we went on with our night.  Perfect. Dodged a bullet there.

The next day at the bus stop, Ruby ran out  before me and I heard Sydney (my sweet little neighbor) say "Who's afraid  of the chickens?"   That stinker Ruby was calling me out and making me look like a big ol baby (which i totally am)  Well, i couldn't have that. I marched right out there and explained my side...to a 3rd grader.

It was that moment where i had a little talk with myself. I am the leader. I am in charge of these chickens, and I can do this. I had to be intentional about tyring to embrace this. I was going to like and care for these animals. For my kids. I wanted them to have a great experience. Like i always say, this is their childhood that i am creating. It may be hard for me, but its going to be awesome for them. I can do it.

That was it, when Ruby got home, we were packing up the van and we were getting chicks!  They didn't even have a choice. Off we went. I got there, swallowed my fear and asked the guy to pick out the best ones for me.  He said if you want 4, buy 6...that did NOT make me feel any better about this decision.

Home we came with 6 chicks and a totally freaked out mom.  What was I doing? 

Thankfully me neighbor is the best ever and she stood right by me and helped me when i needed it and actually came over to clean one of my chicks "goopy butt"  (i know gross, sorry)  I just coudlnt' do it, ugggg, i am gagging in my mouth just thinking about it.  She told me that she gave her chickens hard boiled egg yolks as a treat and oatmeal and other things. She showed me the ropes.  Though, secretly , i knew it would be OVER MY DEAD BODY that i ever cook for my pets! 

I took special care of my chicks and started to love them. And then one died. Traumatic! We were all there outside with it when it just flipped over and died...it was awful and sad. Ruby took it the hardest. Laney, on the other hand, couldn't figure out why Ruby was crying AS we were burying little Aerial!

Well, wouldn't ya know it. I was back at the feed store buying two more chicks a few days later and i was boiling the heck out of every egg in this house. Treats for my flock? Absolutely :) Anything to make them happy! (and live) :)

                                               

Well, how 'bout that, just about the time we get used to our 7 chicks we are at my nephews birthday party and my Mom mentioned to us that she saw a sign for free kittens.  I didn't think twice about it, but Jeromy was intrigued.  They chatted about it and enjoyed the party. That was that.

As we were driving home, i (for reasons unknown to me) asked Jeromy where my Mom saw that sign?  He told me on 10 and we decided to just take that way home instead. You know, just to "look".  We saw the sign, stopped and went inside. The parents had three little kids just like ours and they brought out the first kitty . (there were only 2 left) Honestly, when i saw the cat i though it would be the last one i would ever pick. I like a gray tabby, maybe an orange and white, but blackish? Never. Definetly never.

 Two minutes later we were walking to the car holding that darn blackish kitten. The kids were so excited and Jeromy seemed to be reverting to a child like love for that kitty too.
                 

One trip to Walmart and a few meows later, i told Jeromy "I can't do this!" Its a lifelong commitment and its so in my face. At least the chickens are outside (or will be soon) But this cat, this cat will be around me forever!  And what if, heaven forbid, it jumps on the counter!!??! Uck. Never. I can't do this. In the morning just bring it back, please...

Morning came and Jeromy was up a few times with the kitty at night. Actually more then he was ever up with our new born children! :)  In the same sentence i started to say "just bring her home", i ended with  "Maybe we should get her sister too?" Jeromy jumped at the chance to have another and off he and Laney went. And he came home with a crazy loudly meowing kitty.   What had we done?

That was three days ago, and the kids are in total heaven loving on their cats.  And i am happy about the choice too. They are kind of cute. Laney needed something to snuggle. She needed it!  That poor kitty. Laney got the crazy one who freaks out when you pick her up, but if anyone can break it, its Laney:)

So, some may say hobby farm and that's okay with me. Hey, if I could have a cow and a goat too, i would enjoy it!

So, here's to crazy houses with animals...as long as they don't smell like them, i am okay with it.  Now, if i could just keep my dog from wanting to eat my cats and my cats from wanting to eat my birds...

I suppose i can't leave out the one who started this all...Gus, our loyal dog.

Don't give up

Yesterday as I was mowing the lawn i was thinking about someone close to us who is choosing to get divorced.  I felt like i had so such that i wanted to say to them and so many thoughts on divorce and then today Jeromy called and told me that someone at his work was choosing divorce too.  Jeromy had been talking and talking and encouraging his friend to push harder and attempt to save the marriage but alas, he had no choice because his wife wanted out.

I am so frustrated by the lack of commitment our generation has.  If the going gets tough, we just leave and find something better.  Or temporarily better. My thought is this, and it may sound harsh, there is almost NO reason good enough to get divorced.  Selfishness is what it is. Its about what I want and what I'm not getting.  Please don't misunderstand me, i am certainly not judging anyone, I mean, hello, i am married to a divorced man.  But because of that, i have seen first hand the difficulties, the pain and the struggles that go with it. So i actually feel like i have the right to talk about it. 

I tell Jeromy the same thing that i want to tell these people.  It was selfish. Could they have made it? I don't know, but they both seem to be functioning fine with their new spouses...No matter how happy they are now, the damage was done and the kids are paying the price for it.

I wish people would push harder.  Instead of what they aren't getting, how about what their kids won't have because of it...parents who love one another and provide a safe and secure environment for them. Sure you may just meet someone much better for you and you may even be happier, but the one who always hurts is the child. The poor innocent baby. That step-parent can be so amazing and wonderful and loving, but they will always be the step parent and i think that no matter how much a child loves a step parent, they would want their parents to be together even more.  Its just God given for us to want that. 

Believe me Jeromy and i have struggled with the repercussions of his divorce. There are just sticky situations that happen when you are dealing with two different families. So what i want to shout from the roof top when people tell me  "they've just grown apart, or fallen out of love" is you're just trading one set of problems for another!  Sure, you don't have that "terrible" wife to deal with anymore, but now you have to split your time with your kids and worry about the step parent and dealing with the extended family and their opinions and trying to get used to the new and over the old.  Its weird and confusing and not meant to be. And don't even get me started on it being a "civil divorce". If you can get along that wonderfully through a divorce (and believe me, no one does) then you certainly should have been able to get along in your MARRIAGE!!

I feel like we can all safely say there has been times we have felt like walking out the door and never coming home, right?  Life sometimes feels like it won't get better, or you are so mad at your spouse that you think  those feelings will never change.  But you press on.  You work on yourself and your insecurities or your shortcomings and pray about the rest. God can work on their problems, but we have to take responsibility for your own.  And you know what, as soon as that happens we find ourselves looking at our partner with rose colored glasses again.  Like they can do no wrong.   I trust that God honors obedience and when we are faithful to the ones that we love and we persevere, God honors that. He gives us overwhelming love in our hearts.  Life isn't about what makes me happy.  Its about how can I make someone else happy? What can I do for others?

Of course I know there are a few circumstances where divorce is the only option. My parents faced those dilemmas. My Dads wife had an affair and my Moms husband was abusive. Those are reasons to leave or choices that are made for you.  But God honored their obedience to Him by bringing them together to find one another. Sometimes choices happen that are out of our control, but I believe that if we take responsibility for out OWN actions and always choose to be faithful and obedient that God will catch us every times that we fall.

No, divorce isn't the unforgivable sin, but it just makes me sad. I just want to warn people. Things do get better.  I know it. Times aren't always easy for any of us, but that's when we have to get on our knees and pray harder and trust God.  It is never Gods plan to have a family break  up. That is our selfish and sinful nature. 

I am going to continue to pray that my friends persevere and realize that what they once fell in love with in their spouse is still there...

Hey, I think the Beatles got it right.." All you need is love. All you need is love. All you need is love, love. Love is all you need..."  (And complete faith and hope in Christ, i think they forgot that part ; )

 Have a great day friends and think about something super special about your spouse and give them a great big long kiss tonight when they get home...that always works ;)